The stage is set. The gear’s all loaded and set up. Soundcheck is done. Guitars are tuned, mixes tweaked. Now, we wait for downbeat. And here come our fans, streaming in, amped up, happy to see us play. They order drinks and food, get settled at their VIP tables or whatever, and are ready. Sometimes they’ll come say hello. Most of the time they’ll just stare at us, with an expression that says (to my brain), “Well, when are you going to start?” Even though we always advertise our start times. And even though they might not be thinking that at all.

For regulars or long-time fans, I will always tamp down my introversion and pretend to be super friendly and outgoing and greet them warmly when they approach or head over to say hello if they don’t. I try very hard to remember everyone’s name if I talk to them at a show. Having the luxury problem of being in a well-liked band means that usually there are too many people to remember. But I try. (Oh my god, do I try… #onbrand)

My feeling is that part of the reason our silly band works is our dedication to being interesting and putting on a fun show, but it’s also being approachable and very kind. People are not only excited to spend time with you singing along, but they love the fact that you care about THEM as individuals. And we honestly do, because we appreciate them more than they even realize. We know none of the energy or fun happens without them throwing it all back at us. The small kindness of spending time with your fans (or at least the people who are at the show that night that are checking you out – don’t want to jump the gun and call them fans without earning it) is one of the best things a band can do to build relationships and engender loyalty.

I always think about being a fan, and my interactions with artists. There are two things I always remember – people who are dicks or indifferent, and people who are kind and friendly. And it doesn’t take much to fall into the latter category. I will always adore Kelsea Ballerini because when she came to visit our radio station (my day job is as a commercial production director for radio), she made it a point to pop in and introduce herself and talk to me. It was very sweet, very genuine (she wanted to know what I did for the station), and she’s always been awesome when she’s come back, remembering me and having a nice little chat. And basically all she did was acknowledge my existence. Dicky Barrett from Mighty Mighty BossTones was at their merch table at the Warped Tour in 2000 or something and we had a LONG conversation about music and stuff – he was AWESOME to me and my friend. I have many more stories like this, both bad and good. Working in radio means I have met a lot of artists on promo tours and stuff – the new ones are in “full charm offensive” mode and it’s kind of adorable how nice they are…and even funnier when they become international superstars like Katy Perry and Justin Bieber (met both in 2008 – both were very nice, and so I still root for them…). Others have been kind of meh, but most are pretty good, because they have to be – they have a song or show to sell. The sincere ones are my favorites, though – the ones that are nice without there being much of a benefit for them.

So take this to heart – no matter how you feel in those non-music-playing times, remember that every interaction is a chance to make someone love you and thus love your band and support you. So be awesome if you can. Learn their name. Interact with them on social media (to a healthy extent – don’t be a creepy weirdo, overly intrusive/intimate, or salesy). Make the interactions about THEM not about you. They’re important. You seem important because you’re the one on stage. But if 2020 has taught me anything, there’s no show without an audience.

So, spread love. Acknowledge your audience members’ existence as fellow humans who are special and deserving of kindness and love. And remember how good you felt the time that guy or gal from that band was cool to you at the merch table or whatever. Give that love back all you can. Find ways to make them feel special without embarrassing them – so learn to read the situations right and don’t overdo it. (And watch out for psychos. They’re out there…)

I appreciate every awesome person who comes to see the band. And I look forward to seeing them all again soon. Yay vaccination!

Thanks for reading!
TMS