One of my favorite things about being a musician is “the hang”.

A good hang can determine whether you play with someone even more than their level of ability sometimes. Seems kind of silly, but it’s true. Any time I’ve been in a band situation where the hang was awkward or just wrong is more jarring than someone always coming in on the 5 or something. I’ve actually not joined bands specifically because the energy of spending time with people was just wrong. And I’ve quit them when every gig has either been isolating or just uncomfortable.

All my best band experiences come from the majority of band members being a good hang. Roman Holiday – in the majority of its configurations – was a wonderful experience, and that was partially because most of the incarnations, and basically ALL of the trio versions of the band were true fun. Yeah, we were there to work and put on a great show, but load-in, set-up, tear-down, and load-out were always quality times. Endless jokes. And different ones depending on the lineup. It was always Ned and me, and in the trios, we always had drummers who were great people to spend time with – even when musically things were iffy. Sure, everyone had their bad days or whatever, and some people bitched more than others, but in general, it was a team – beyond that – a crew, a family. And I think we always were happy when we were together, even if we sometimes had issues when we weren’t. Chandler and The Bings has become one of the best hangs ever. Every single member of this band is what most musicians would call “a good hang” – we’re generally not pretentious or precious, we love to laugh, no one has any real hangups or any relationship drama, and we’re all pretty willing to try just about anything when it comes to the music.

That willingness to consider others’ ideas, feelings, whatever, is fundamental to being a good hang, and for creating one in your ensemble. Knowing you have each others’ back allows for a healthy discussion and level of criticism between the players, and ensures that you can all make the music and the show better and still have a lot of fun in the process.

My first band (Magic Garden) was pretty much the polar opposite of a good hang. In fact, the attitudes of the other people in the band are what made me leave – I actually was really enjoying playing the music and learning how to be a proper bassist in an ensemble (up to that point I’d only ever played guitar with other people – I actually paid my little brother half my take from every gig to borrow his bass and amp). Basically, this was the configuration: One dude had a massive ego. One dude was older and thought he knew absolutely everything. The other guy was nice but liked drugs (pot, mushrooms, LSD) a whole lot, so he was…inconsistent. I was completely new to playing bass – greener than Ireland. There were always random strangers there hanging around with the druggie guy, which made me uncomfortable, because I was pretty new to being in a band.

Basically all through the 90s I was mostly a good hang, except when my Musical Asshole™ came out. I’ve covered that part many times on this blog, and my growth over the years. It’s not much a part of who or how I am as a bandmate these days, but it definitely tainted a lot of otherwise excellent situations, and I’m ashamed of it. So, yeah…enough of that.

So my advice to anyone who wants to play a lot as a musician – be a PERSON. Be kind to your bandmates. Don’t expect everyone to want what you want. Be a good laugh. Make it light and make it fun…but not so much that you’re not matching the level of seriousness for the situation, because that can make you an obstacle as well. It’s a balance, and the best musicians you can play with strike that balance in most situations.

Thanks to all the “good hangs” I’ve played with over the years. And also thanks to the ones who sucked at it, because you taught me to be a better hang by showing me how I never wanted to be.

Sorry for the late one. Another one’s coming in a few days. Since last week was zero Musedays, this week will be two! YEE HAW.

Thanks for reading.

Get a jab, call your mom. If you’re fully vaccinated and they are, too, go SEE your Mom and Dad and give them a hug. I guess unless they’re miserable assholes, then you don’t have to do that, although it probably couldn’t hurt. We need more hugs in this world. It’s been too fucking long.

Love you – see you soon out slappin’ da bass…
TMS