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July Update – Solo shows and new band

July Update – Solo shows and new band

So my updates apparently are coming every three months or so now. Time to stop thinking it’s going to be more frequent and accept that I sort of suck at this “regular blogging thing”.

I’ve been playing some great solo shows at a new venue (to me) called “Scoreboard”. I have a lot of fun there. I also just played my first show at Quinns in Round Rock. That was delightful and I kind of killed it, which made me feel like I’m getting good at this solo thing.

The new trio that’s starting up is still in progress, though we grow ever closer to gigs. We haven’t settled on a name for it yet, but it’s definitely been fun putting it together. Once we pick a name we’ll book some shows and force this thing into being. I thought it’d be funny to call it “Roman Candle” since that was the most common mistake people made with “Roman Holiday”, and this is essentially the same stuff (though it will get different as time passes).

On the creative front, well, that’s just stalled. I’m not feeling very inspired, so I’m not writing, but I have been playing some of my existing originals live, and they’ve gotten a good response, so that makes me feel good.

Next show is at Scoreboard on July 9th (this Saturday), and then a break for about a month. Maybe we can use that time for whipping the new band into shape and getting it some gigs. Here’s hoping!

Thanks for reading, and let me know if you have any good band name ideas you’d like to share. We’re not excited about much of anything we’ve thought of so far.

Peace be the journey!
TMS

The past few months

The past few months

So the past few months have been quite interesting. I moved in with my lovely girlfriend Erin, which has been great. I played some weird-and-awesome fill-in gigs, I “joined” then quit a band (I’ll explain the quotes in a bit), and I discovered I have some issues with how I’ve been relating to music and gigging, and in general have done a lot of self-reflection.

On to the first part – The move went really well and I’ve set up a nice studio in the upstairs loft area, with my electronic drumset to one side of the studio desk, and my keyboard controller and guitars lined up to the other side. The room has a lot of reflections, so I’m going to have to figure out some ways to make it deader for any voiceovers or singing I might want to do, but that’s all in the works.

I played some fill-in gigs, in various configurations, with a band (Texas Players) that features Roman Holiday drummer, and my brother-from-another-mother Lee Thompson on drums. The gigs were crazy but fun in their own way – something I didn’t think was possible with that particular band. I may have these out of order chronologically, but I’ll share them anyway. First was filling in on bass with a second guitarist (Paul Lidel, who is awesome) instead of the usual keyboardist (my friend Shelley), and that gig went AMAZING. We sounded great with minimal trainwrecks and it was super fun. Then I filled in as the guitarist with the usual keyboardist, which was nerve-wracking (more about this later in the “guitar freaks me the fuck out” part of this post in part three below), but ultimately ended up working out, and apparently we sounded good. Then we had a last-minute gig where I insisted on being the bassist, and we found another guy (another friend, David Houston, who gigs more as a bassist these days) to play guitar with Lee and Shelley and me. This one was sort of all over the place, but as the night wore on it became truly fun. Eventually I grabbed David’s guitar and he played my bass and we did all kinds of weird things, including a fun version of Rush’s “Working Man” where I tried to recall all the parts of the guitar solo while I played the song. The crowd seemed to enjoy themselves a LOT, which was good, because I don’t think we sounded that awesome overall, but we did our best on short notice! Three fun gigs with TP in a row. About 6 months ago I could never imagine that being the case (I was frustrated with the experience of filling in with them even though I liked them personally).

Part three involved my experience with a well-equipped, well-booked cover band that I won’t name because I’m afraid people will get the wrong idea about them based on my individual perspective and experience (don’t want the search terms directing people here). I met with them mid-January to say I’d cover some upcoming shows for them so they wouldn’t have to cancel, and for some reason they interpreted my covering the shows as joining the band. Which was weird, because I hadn’t joined (and I didn’t see that they’d posted my joining to their Facebook page until almost a week later, so I was shocked and a little annoyed), but I liked the guys, so I didn’t say anything about it. Then we got into the rehearsal room, and I was even more shocked to discover that they didn’t really even know their own song list very well. This is something I can’t fathom. They had been a band for a WHILE and very few of the songs were outside of the “cover band standards” realm, and none of them were difficult to play. It is extraordinarily hard to get involved with a group when they haven’t even invested in their own material and you’re expected to slot in. The guitarist knew what he was doing, so that made it slightly easier for me coming in as lead guitarist, but the bassist and drummer were completely inconsistent with what they knew and/or could pull off. And it completely put me off from the start. Two strikes and we’d only played together one time.

Because I was in the process of moving, I wasn’t really available for rehearsals, and there were many discussions via email about what songs to play, and as we inched closer to a list that was long enough for covering a 4-hour bar gig, no one seemed to want to say, “THIS IS WHAT WE’RE DOING”. I think this is fairly common in bands, because no one wants to be the source of any butthurt in their bandmates, but I just couldn’t believe they didn’t have a set repertoire already and ready to go that I could just work from. Stuff would be added and removed, pointless songs that have no public traction anymore deleted from the list, tired-but-workable classics added with whining pretty much every time one was suggested. It was irritating, and that further soured my experience with the group. But I liked the idea of being lead guitarist and lead singer on most of the material, so I hunkered down and started woodshedding.

Let’s jump to an aside here for a moment. I have issues with being a guitarist in a band. It has more to do with wanting to be awesome even though I’m pretty inexperienced at getting a consistent good live tone. I have nothing but confidence as a bassist, having the experience of gigging regularly in that role in a variety of situations for 20-plus years. But as a guitarist, I had one little time between 2005-2006 and one little time in 2014 when I had done it, and that was about it. So being the “quality above all” musician I try to be, I know I can bring “teh suck” with my live sound sometimes, and that uncertainty and lack of preparation sets me up for serious anxiety. I always want to be awesome. I always want to impress people. I remember a quote from Joe Dimaggio when a reporter asked why he played so hard all the time, and it stuck with me: “Because there might have been somebody in the stands today who’d never seen my play before, and might never see me again.” I guess it might be rooted a little in my ego, but I’m like that about being kind to people, too, so maybe it’s just the unquenchable thirst for external approval of me as a person. I desperately need to be liked. And on that, like many people, I create fantasies of people hating me because of things they probably don’t even notice. It’s ridiculous and I’ve worked on ways to not let this sort of destructive thinking ruin experiences for me, but it’s a work in progress. Speaking of which…

This cover band had its first gig with me at a nice pool hall (not an oxymoron – it actually is a nice place) way up north in town. They used in-ear monitors, which I have not had very good luck with in the past. Despite not being able to hear myself most of the show, I didn’t completely eat shit, and that had a lot to do with working so damn hard on the material even though every time I tried to sit with it and work things out I desperately wanted to be doing something else. I haven’t quite figured out the psychology of this. Like I said before, this is a well-equipped, well-booked band with guys that I like in it. But doing anything for it made me anxious and frustrated. Partially because I felt like I was getting nothing from anyone in the band in terms of a cohesive direction with the material, and partially because when we’d get together to practice, only one of the three guys seemed to have actually done outside practice. I was HATING my experience.

I was ready to quit after the first gig, but I didn’t want to fuck them over, so I figured I’d tell them, “hey, I’ll do the March show, and then I’m done”, and then two more shows were booked in March. One of them completely without my knowledge. So I soldiered on, trying to accept the awkward reality of the half-assed, well-equipped, well-booked cover band full of guys I liked personally but who didn’t seem to work very hard on learning the songs. I figured at least it’d give me more guitar experience. I played the first March gig – again at the same nice pool hall up north. It went okay – I had better luck with the in-ears. Clips of my singing/playing showed me I was pretty good at this crap. But my frustration continued to grow. Then about a week before the show on 3-25, we noticed another one had been booked for 3-26 by the drummer without half the band’s knowledge. This was it for me. First they join me in the band without my consent, now they’re booking gigs and not even telling me? FUCK THAT SHIT. The week we were to play the gig on the 25th, they booked another show on 4-15, and that’s when I decided that if I didn’t have a complete blast playing the 3-25 and 3-26 shows, I was quitting the band as of the 4-15 show which would give the guys enough notice to find someone to cover the shows in May.

Well, that show was this past Friday night. And I played really well. I actually sort of had fun with it, and the fact that it was at the same venue where I first met with the guys and talked about covering shows was a nice completion of the circle for me. I appreciate that they gave me a shot, and I hope they don’t hate me for bailing on them or sharing my perspective here, but if they really want to compete with the Suedes of this town, they are going to need to improve a lot about the band. I’m not terribly sorry to not be a part of that improvement (and I know I definitely was, based on things I heard from most everyone connected to the band who had seen other versions of it), but I do wish them well.

So now that it’s over, I’m happy to have had the experience. It SUCKED for me, but it taught me things and drove me inside for some serious emotional inventory. Like that I miss Roman Holiday and want a band like that again, or at least something like that (“something like that” is currently brewing, and I’m really hoping we are able to make it happen). I’m going to learn how to be pushy and try to book gigs for my solo show and for this new band, once it’s up and running. As much as working with a well-equipped, well-booked band can be nice, for me it’s not worth it if it’s not fun. And I hated being an obstacle to booking because of my weird schedule. I feel that if I’m in charge, it’ll be much easier to manage with my availability.

And back to the new home stuff – now that I have a studio set up at the house, I WILL be producing more content. I will also be doing live performances of songs and maybe even some live “vlogging” (hello, 2007 terminology) on Facebook Live, which is pretty awesome if you ask me. So watch out for that.

I’m hoping for all good things in the music realm from now on, Connecting with my music more emotionally, performing with heart and spirit and really driving a party both as a solo and with the new trio, and hopefully finding a way to get all my music recorded so I can share it with the world. If I write new stuff, awesome, but I think just going through and recording what I’ve already written will be a good start.

Thank you for reading my ramblings, and thank you to the guys in the well-equipped, well-booked cover band for giving me a learning experience and being nice to me through it. Onward and outward (and hopefully upward)!

Peace be the journey!
TMS

A Pause for Relocation

A Pause for Relocation

So my lovely girlfriend and I are moving into a house together soon, (cue the Bon Jovi song…) and I’m super excited so I’ll have a lot more space for music creation! WHEE! But until we get moved and settled, I won’t be doing much recording.

BUT, there is hope on the horizon for gigging, so I’m excited about that. More on that to come.

I hope everyone has a wonderful 2016. I appreciate your attention and your support, and this year should be a big one for me and music, so hopefully I’ll make some stuff that will make you happy.

Peace be the journey!
TMS

So the progress continues…

So the progress continues…

Last night I was able to work up most of my song called “Miserable Bastard” into a full-band arrangement. The bass parts and vocals are just scratch versions at this point and everything needs more work (I want to compose a better bass part that has some more “movement”), but I’m satisfied with how things are progressing.

There’s another song I just wrote (a couple of days after “Way Too Long Of A While”) that I’m still working on, and that one might be next to be recorded…but there are others I still want to finish or rework, so who knows.

I’m just happy I’m getting things together for once. Now I have to get some acoustic gigs and get a new power trio together with Lee (Roman Holiday bandmate/drummer). I miss fronting an actual band.

Thanks for keeping up and HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you all have a prosperous and wonderful 2016.
TMS

NEW SONG! Yep, it’s finally happened…

NEW SONG! Yep, it’s finally happened…

My long personal nightmare is over: I’m writing again! And this is a pretty dang cool feeling…

The first song I’m sharing is a song that is very close to my heart. I decided to try and dig deep and “feel all the feels” as some might say, and this new one is the result. This one makes me cry. It also doesn’t sound much like anything else I’ve ever recorded, so it might be kind of shocking (especially vocally). Go with me here and don’t carry any prejudices – this is 100% from my heart.

It’s called “Way Too Long Of A While”:

It comes on the heels of spending some time with my family that I love deeply and miss terribly because I live over 1000 miles away (or more). It’s actually a fairly simple concept, inspired by my internal conflict of feeling sad because I’m far away, but really loving the life I’ve got aside from the distance from “home” (which to me isn’t a place, but rather the five other members of my family – my mom, dad, and three younger brothers).

Thanks for listening, and watch this space for more!
TMS

So my blogging is probably going to become more frequent…

So my blogging is probably going to become more frequent…

As I now have a fun little portable device that will allow me to easily type and share stuff from my new iPad Mini (thanks for the hand-me-down, Heather!)

I got a case that has an integrated keyboard that is very small but actually quite functional, with real keys instead of being all rubbery.

So now to the updates…
I’m theoretically back with Capital Suspects once our schedules more properly align, which makes me very happy.

I’ve been filling in here and there with Texas Players, which has been a learning experience.

I’m now down a venue for my solo acoustic act, as 121 On Main closed a couple of weeks ago. Fortunately I’ve gotten a few bookings through Stargazer Live, which is nice – Cord’s been good to me and I appreciate it. I need to come up with a proper game plan for getting regular work down in my part of town, maybe even a weekly or bi-weekly show. Anyone with ideas on good venues where you’ve seen solo acoustic performers down south or Downtown, please send me a message and let me know.

The biggest news, I guess, is that I think I’m going to start doing some real recording again. I’m revisiting some old songs and song ideas I’ve saved on my phone and I think that there’s a lot of promise there. I think I’ll be able to easily hack some of the stuff into workable, good little tunes. Once they’re suitable for public consumption I’ll share them, but not before then. I’ve got enough half-assed shit out there on the net already. 🙂

Thanks for reading and look out for more soon!
TMS

So since the last time we talked…

So since the last time we talked…

…I’ve had spurts of being busy but mostly have been doing almost nothing musically. I played a solo show back in early July, and before that was filling in with Capital Suspects and Chandler here and there. All that was fun. Then at the end of July I took my annual trip back to Florida and played a reunion show with my old band Slaphappy. It was a really fun experience playing with the fellas again, and I’ll post audio from it at some point.

When I returned from vacation I quickly booked two solo shows in August, which went pretty well (though the first of the two was a really tough one because it was outside in the August heat). I have another show coming up on September 26th and I’m quite excited about that one because I’m adding a bunch of songs to the repertoire. I’m also making sure I don’t forget to play more of my original songs in there. It should be a really fun show, so if you’re around, come see me in Round Rock at 121 On Main that night – I start at 8pm and play until 11pm.

I also went to see an amazing show at Threadgills – Travis Larson Band opening for The Aristocrats. It was an amazing night of melodic (and sometimes very unmelodic) shredding. SO MUCH TALENT…

The next phase of the musical life of Le Schizo will involve continuing to grow my acoustic solo show thing, which I’m really enjoying, and starting to properly record some of my own music. I’ve said it over and over again on here, but now is truly the time for me to make it happen. I’m going to reconfigure my home studio to make it more amenable to easily getting the ideas down in the computer and really get good tracks recorded. I’ll get the best stuff done first, but then go through and record everything that’s at some level of completeness so they’re all updated with my current level of competence.

That should make for some exciting times on this site. Hopefully getting the studio together will inspire me to create NEW songs that relate more to my experience over the past few years, since I feel there’s a lot of “songwriting potential energy” there that hasn’t been spent. But we shall see.

I told a friend of mine recently that creatives create because we have to…and it reminded me how much of a I really have not been a creative in the songwriting sense. It’s come to the point where I actually cringe when I refer to myself as a songwriter. It is a fact that I have written songs, but it is not a fact that I write them. I haven’t really written or recorded one in a long time – I did fashion a chord progression into a song experiment back in late November of last year, but that’s been it. I haven’t even been writing music, though I’ve been playing guitar all the time at home.

Not much more to report. If you read this and can come, please check out my show on 9/26. I’ll make an event post soon on the ol’ Facebook page, as well as the dedicated page I have set up for the solo acoustic thing.

I do promise one thing: NEW BATHROOM SCHIZO VIDEOS ARE COMING!

Take care, be nice, and be happy!

TMS

So I played two shows and then…

So I played two shows and then…

BUPKIS.

Now, things are looking really good for getting back in there (I’m literally texting with the booking agent in between typing sentences here), but it’s still frustrating because I really wanted to make this a very regular thing – at least once a month, preferably two or three times. It’s SO MUCH FUN and the extra cash is very helpful. 🙂

On other fronts, I’m trying to work out scheduling to sing some backing vocals for my friend’s first album, which is terrifying and exciting all rolled into one. I don’t consider myself much of a singer, which is probably silly, since I’ve been doing it in front of people for money on a regular basis now for 16 years, but it’s the fact that I’m not properly trained that keeps me from feeling good about my singing. I know I could be better. I even want to take lessons. Financially that hasn’t been an option.

I did get a promotion at the day job, which is nice, since it came with some extra scratch, which will make the solo gig money even more spendable. Perhaps on things like vocal lessons. 🙂

I’ve stalled at creating new music…but I am definitely feeling like it’s time to record some stuff. My main recording computer cooked a power supply last weekend, and fortunately that’s all that cooked, so after a $30 replacement it’s back up and running, but it scared me. I’m a creative person that hasn’t been creating, and that makes me feel like a fraud. I need to DO SOME SHIT. So I will.

And hopefully it’ll be worthy of posting here in Bloggington.

Peace, love, and good happiness stuff…
TMS

Life Changes Through Life Changes

Life Changes Through Life Changes

So in my last post I talked about being divorced. I know that a lot of great art comes from pain, and I think that some of my best songs arrived via the “pain train”, but there’s also a lot of utter shit that comes from drawing inspiration in something so emotional. I can think back on at least a few songs that were overly sentimental or really heavy-handed dealing with tough emotions. I consider that a problem I have – wielding the pain as more of a sledgehammer rather than a gentle brush. I think the time and perspective that comes from being out of the bad part of the situation (while things are still falling apart) can really work toward expressing something interesting if you’re brave enough to revisit it after the fact with a little perspective.

Of course, I’m nowhere near that phase yet – this is all pretty new and raw. I’m just exploring the concept of making adult friends who might turn into more special friends. Putting myself out there and actually dating for the first time in my life, really…because every relationship I’ve had has been one of convenience – we were in close proximity, we liked each other, things happened…boom – relationship. I’m trying to break this pattern and figure out who the heck I am, because honestly, I have no idea. Removed from being “Heather’s husband”, I’m not really sure who I am. I know that my physical changes (lost 20 lbs, grew about 20 lbs of hair) have garnered a higher level of female attention than I expected, but I’m honestly still in mourning of my life as I lived it for thirteen-plus years.

It’s been a running theme on this blog about me never actually getting my solo acoustic act off the ground, and one thing that has come from the therapy and other things I’ve been through the past few years is the discovery/acceptance that I have serious self-worth issues, mostly because I don’t ever give myself the credit I deserve. Not as a person, producer, performer, musician, or songwriter. Not even as a father sometimes (that one’s improved a lot, even with my departure from the home…I know I’m a good dad, and I do my best to be there for them as much as I can under the circumstances.) I think perhaps the reason the acoustic thing has never happened isn’t just laziness, it’s also a subconscious self-hate campaign my psyche has been playing on me for years – that I shouldn’t book it because why would I subject people to my singing and playing? What makes me think I can entertain people with just my voice and guitar.

Well, I’ve finally accepted that it’s a shitty way to live, bowing down to some imaginary judgment that hasn’t even happened. The fact is, when I’m emotionally clear and healthy, I know I’m a better singer/guitarist/entertainer than most people who do the solo acoustic thing out there. Sadly, I’m just not usually emotionally clear or healthy. As that improves, so will my confidence. But so far that hasn’t really happened, so I’ve decided it’s time to fake it until I make it.

The first faux-confidence display will happen this coming Wednesday, February 12th, when I join my friends Paul and Greg for a gig with our little ragtag trio, “Audio Time Machine” (ATM). I think it’s going to be a really fun show, and I know that I have a bunch of people who have said they are coming to hang out, which is awesome. Friendly audiences are always confidence-boosters. And right now, my sad little brain needs all the help it can get.

But back to the songwriting. It’s weird – it’s been so long since I really wrote a SONG that I’ve almost forgotten how to do it. I’ve been collecting a lot of riffs and musical ideas over the past few years, but nothing seems to every really coalesce into something complete. It’s scatterbrained and seems relatively indicative of how I’ve lived my musical life for the past few years – just taking things as they come with no set plan or organization. This sort of informality can be good to reduce stress levels, but all it does is render everything you do as sort of half-assed. I think that’s why no clear SONGS have come together. And I’m sure that’s part of the reason that in my performing musician life there haven’t been any Roman Holiday gigs since last June. Audio Time Machine is very informal so that takes basically no effort, but we go for long stretches without playing shows. And my sad little brain needs to be playing shows. It’s a really important part of my happiness as a human walking the planet.

So it’s time for me to organize this part of my life a little bit and really make it happen. Get my new solo website together (brianvsings.com) instead of just having it point here (which it does for now). Get my songlist together and start really tightening up my performances of the songs – make them full of feeling, personal, relatable, and very memorable for the audiences. Maybe have some stones and see if I can launch my little act by performing for my day job co-workers in our facility’s live music lounge for happy hour or something. There’s a bunch of built-in fans who like to get drunk after work! (Heck, they like to get drunk AT work sometimes…)

So hold me to it, people. If you see that I haven’t made major moves on this stuff in the next few months, give me crap about it. I deserve it!

Thanks for reading and peace be the journey!
TMS

So I’ve been absent for a long time, and there’s a decent reason…

So I’ve been absent for a long time, and there’s a decent reason…

I got divorced.

Yup. Your faithful servant is now The SINGLE Musical Schizo. No worries, though, it’s very amicable and the ex and I get along splendidly. One of the things that this might actually open up is that I’ll have a little bit more time to focus on musical pursuits, but so far I haven’t really done that. In fact, I haven’t played a show since October. It’s driving me CRAZY! The good news is that I have a show on February 12th (Stompin’ Grounds Grill on Anderson Mill Rd in Austin), so that little drought will come to an end.

Speaking of droughts, I haven’t written a song in a terribly long time. The emotions of what I’ve been through the past couple of years are way too intense to try and turn into art just yet, but I’m hoping with a little perspective and distance that it will give me some good material.

One thing that is interesting to me is the concept of being a gigging performer that isn’t married. I’ve never experienced that. I’m wondering what sort of extracurricular fun that will bring. I’m not one of those musicians who started playing to impress girls – in fact, I’ve never understood that, because I’ve always done music for music – but there’s a distinct possibility that girls, or better yet, women, will be impressed with my musical performance. I already look more the part of “the guy in the band” now that I’ve grown out my hair (It’s almost as long as it’s ever been, actually), so that might bring some fodder for future blog posts, too.

I’m going to be a better, more consistent blogger this year, and really turn this into a place for good commentary and perspective on music from a part-time professional musician.

Thanks for everything, and peace be the journey!
TMS