The Musical Schizo

Apparently Jesus can’t forgive bad language.

We had a drummer come through who we loved, who we really wanted to be part of the band, because he seemed like a “bro”. Apparently that’s not the case.

You see, he’s a “Christian”, and it would look bad if he played drums for songs with dirty words or dirty messages. They’re not satanic messages, even, just songs about crazy bitches who like to fuck and the expression of the man who is hated – fuckin’ hated.

“Christians” apparently don’t think God can handle bad words or bad messages expressed in music. So much so, in fact, that they think a bad word or hanging around drunk people is going to harm their faith and bring them closer to eternal damnation.

A long time ago, I invented a word to describe this phenomenon, where “Christians” are more concerned with how they look than their actual relationship with God: Christivanity.

I’ve only ever seen it one other place, and that was years after I invented it. I hope it becomes a word people use to describe those sorts of folk – members of churches concerned with looking good in the face of other humans.

If I may be flip and assume I know God for a second:
God knows YOUR deeds. Concern yourselves with that.
God knows YOU didn’t say those words you found objectionable, and I think he can handle bad language – after all, his son hung out with the dregs of society.

Although, he did say to not use his name in vain, so maybe he is a big pussy after all.

I’m sad that Jesus (to me a fairytale with a nice message, for the most part) is such a domineering force in people’s lives. It’s sad that these folks can’t even comprehend that their avoidance of things their pastor told them are “evil” is childlike behavior at its peak.

God gave us a brain, we should use it.
God gave us a moral compass to know what’s right.
God gave us reason to help us avoid things that are bad for us.
God also gave us compassion to understand the weaknesses of others and to let us know when to help.

Of course, I say “God gave us” but I really mean “our parents gave us” or “nature gave us”. If I was really wanting to be controversial, I’d say “Evolution gave us” – but I know that’s a non-starter for Biblical literalists.

Coming right down to it, though, it was his choice, and I understand why he made his decision. I’m just not as beholden to a fantasy man in the sky (or the opinions of my fellow church patrons and “friends”), so it’s hard for me to understand the logic behind it.

He could have just lied and told us we sucked. That would have been easier to take… 🙂

I love playing corporate functions.

This weekend the band played a pool party in Belton, and it was hot as balls, but it was worth the drive and effort, as the client seemed pretty happy and we all walked away with a fat check at the end of the show.

I keep going back and forth about the in-ear monitors, though. Sometimes they just sound like complete garbage, and my guess is that it’s the pathetic excuse for headphones I’m using with them. They’re “isolation” earphones, but it just helps you hear their pathetic fidelity even more explicitly.

I really need to just break down and get myself a pair of Ultimate Ears or something similar. I can’t afford to drop more than about $100 on a pair, so the molded ones are out for now.

I will say that any singers out there who really want to hear themselves on stage should invest in a good pair of IEMs – it’s so much better than trying to hear yourself over the din of drums and loud guitarists. Used with care (and not blasted), your ears will thank you at the end of the night – I haven’t had ringing or a headache since we started using them, because they take the levels of the drums down between 10 and 20 dB – helpful for those of you with loud drummers (like my band).

The side benefit? They’re AWESOME headphones! I wouldn’t use them if you were out running or biking, because they’ll most certainly keep you from hearing your surroundings, but on an airplane, or any time you want peace, they’re incredible. They’re a much better concept than noice-cancelling headphones, because instead of electronically messing with your surroundings (and therefore your music), they just give you a direct, clean version of the sound. Get a pair with more than one driver and it’s even more amazing, because the sound is clearer and often has more bass.

Okay, enough raving for now. I’m going to go write another post on another topic. You probably already read it because it’ll show up above this one.

I’ve decided to “un-quit” the band.

Why, you might ask? Well, it’s pretty simple. The band’s demands were becoming too much for me, and I really wasn’t all that excited about it anymore (when it becomes WORK, it’s time to move on).

Standards have been put into place that will make the time worth it for all concerned.

So, I’m back as lead singer of Roman Holiday. The jury is still out on whether I’ll remain bassist/lead singer or move to guitarist/lead singer, but I will be the lead singer.

We don’t have many gigs booked, so we’re in a major period of rebuilding. We need a drummer and a bass player.

If you know anyone, send them to www.myspace.com/romanholidayband or www.romanholidayband.com.

I’m still going to do all the other things I want to do musically, I’m just going to work with Ned to try and keep this band going, because we sound really good, and we can sound even better.

Next gig is July 28th at the Light Bar in downtown Austin (4th and Congress). Probably the last one with Mike on drums…who knows if we’ll have a new bass player by then. Ah, life in a cover band that’s falling apart…

So we had a pretty good show last night at Bourbon Rocks.

If there was any script I’d write to the last few gigs leading up to some time away, this would be an acceptable draft – we had a few really nice fans hang out all night, and the flighty BR crowd hung out for a while to begin with, then almost all the way through the second set, and bailed before the third set. After that, the second wave came in at about 12:45 a.m. and went APESHIT.

Special thanks go to the nice ladies who I will call “Pittsburgh D.C.” and “You’re a CPA?” (because I am so tired, I have no idea what their names were). They kept it fun all night with their enthusiasm and their kindness. (And PDC’s Oneders jokes…)

I actually drank three beers last night, too. I don’t generally drink more than one.

My voice held out through all the abuse until we tried to do “Any Way You Want It” by Journey – it was pretty horrible and hilarious. The voice came back after massaging it with some Sublime (“Santeria” and “What I Got”), and I was fine for the whole show. That’s pretty good vocal endurance for a guy who generally doesn’t have much time to work on it.

I was listening to my songs at work today, and I realized I need to go in and re-sing just about everything with vocals on it. I’ve improved so much vocally in the past couple of years that the recordings I made before that sound like crap to me.

So I think that’s the first thing I’m going to tackle – re-singing (and in some cases, re-arranging) my songs I’ve already finished.

Then, I’ll go through and make good demos of every song that doesn’t have one yet.

THEN, I’ll do some more writing.

Unless inspiration strikes first…

I’ve been thinking a whole lot over the past few days about my decision to step away from being in a band, and I really feel it’s right for me right now. I still want to play live, and I’ll miss the money, but to be honest, I want to be better than I am, and I want the people I play with to be even better than me.

So many times in my musical life I’ve accepted the fact that I’m going to probably be the best musician in the band (the kind that can show everyone else how to do their job or play their role), or at least the guy with the best ears. It’s been a compromise, because it leads me to behaviors I don’t really enjoy, like being in people’s faces about getting things close (if not exactly right) or about the arrangements or timing. I hate it. It feels like babysitting, only the kids are adults and they don’t need to be babysat, so I just seem like a complete prickazoid.

I think it’s time for me to be in a situation where it’s just me for a while, so I can avoid being “Captain Know-it-all” about stuff. I really hate that side of my personality. Having it reflected back at me recently (by a new band member that quickly became an old one) was bizarre. The thing is, I think it’s just a complete misunderstanding of where it comes from that leads to people assuming I’m such a dick about this stuff.

But back to the music…time to get good and write something profound (unlike this tripe).

I think I’m finally fried for the cover band thing for now.

Don’t get me wrong, the money and camraderie are great, but I’m tired of being a half-assed musician.

Tonight I’ll talk to Ned about the future of our band, and basically tell him that I don’t think I want to do it anymore (after July).

We’ve got two major holes to fill (drums, vocals), and so far, it hasn’t gone well in that department.

The more I think about it, the less I feel the time spent away from my family justifies the amount of money I make.

Plus, honestly, I think I want to really get into songwriting again, and this cover stuff is sapping all my energy, not because I have to prepare for it so much, but rather because it takes a lot of mental energy I could be devoting to other musical endeavors (not to mention non-musical endeavors like my kids and wife).

We had a good gig as a trio at Carlos & Charlie’s last night, and if we have a few more good ones, it’ll serve as a fitting end to my time playing in bands for money. I will probably still do cover gigs as a solo acoustic act (speaking of which, I have a duo gig next Friday, July 6th at Johnny Fins, provided it’s not completely under water), but for now, the full-band thing isn’t very appealing. Too much rehearsal, too many gigs, not enough control.

I love the guys in the band, and it’s not really about them. I’ve just reached a point where I don’t feel up to doing it anymore – it’s too tiring, mentally and physically.

I’ve always driven home from gigs with the thoughts that I never want to do it again, but I never woke up with those thoughts until this morning. I’ve got a gig tonight in Round Rock at a place called “The Rock Room”, which should be good, because the crowd there is pretty receptive; it’s small, so even a small crowd fills the room, and that’s always a more enjoyable experience, in my opinion. Then a gig 4th of July at the old standby “Bourbon Rocks”, the aforementioned Friday “Johnny Fins” acoustic gig, and back at “The Rock Room” on July 7th. After a private party up near Temple on the 14th, nothing until August, so that’ll be when I will say goodbye, unless Ned begs me to play the Light Bar gigs…

Stick a fork in me, people. I’m done. But this blog and my music site will get a lot more interesting because of it.

So half of Roman Holiday played a gig at Johnny Fins tonight.

It was decent, though there were times I wanted my cohort to just stop playing. We hadn’t rehearsed enough, so the rhythm work was pretty all over the place on the songs we played together.

The crowd hung around, though…that was so cool. I guess we didn’t suck.

The staff was friendly and nice, and I got to play “Elenore” by the Turtles and “Hello” (my acoustic show staple) by Lionel Ritchie.

I enjoyed it. No ringing ears after the show, and a nice check in my pocket. I think I could get used to this sort of thing.

It was good practice for becoming the singer, because it really showed me where I was inconsistent.

I think my next bit of therapy will be recording every song we do acoustically so I can hear where I need to improve.

I think that might be a helpful thing. I also need to learn how to breathe like a singer, because I was running out of air all night. It was really pissing me off.

Well, enough about me…oh, wait, no, this is my goddamn blog! Peace to all!

So all my singing fears were pretty much pointless. Some songs I tanked, most songs sounded great, we were very inconsistent musically, but in the end, it was a pretty damn good gig!

The ROT rally folks were pretty cool, and I got to see Leslie’s freckled man-butt through a thong (a uniquely Austin experience), and the staff at the Iron Cactus was AWESOME.

So I view the show as a triumph. The next test? An acoustic show at Johnny Fins in two weeks. It should be quite interesting, because I don’t know how well it’s going to go without a drummer.

We will be trotting out a very cool version of “Pour Some Sugar On Me”, though. 🙂

Gotta find the fun anywhere you can get it. I might slip in a few originals, too, just for good measure.

I’m scared.

I have to sing a whole night of songs tomorrow night, and I know I can do it, but I’m worried simply because I haven’t done that (sing the whole night) in over a year.

We’re gigging as a trio tomorrow night (which means a nice fat payday), and it’s downtown on 6th street during the ROT rally (a big biker event this weekend in Austin). It should be an awesome crowd.

It’s weird, as much as I know I can do certain things, vocally, I don’t want to be overconfident. I realize that most people won’t notice an out-of-tune note here and there, but I will, and being the guy I am, I want to be as close to perfect as possible, because it adds weight to demanding that of others.

It should be a great time, though.

We auditioned two more people, both very different. First was a bassist named Luis – he was good, sang pretty well, and won major points from me because his tester riff was “Glamour Boys” by Living Colour. Then we had a singer, Rob – more of a karaoke singer than a musician, but not terrible. Too inexperienced to join the band without other musical skills, though. I won’t take anyone fronting the band who can’t sing better than me, especially if they don’t play an instrument.

That’s all for now…come see the show tomorrow night at 10pm at the Iron Cactus – 6th and Trinity. The Musical Schizo comes to life… 🙂

Life is really good at intervening.

Another lesson of making music…no matter how much you want to get stuff done, sometimes life (your responsibilities to yourself and the ones you love) is simply much more important.

Right now I’ve been working on getting the Roman Holiday demo with me singing together, because, well, we don’t know what the future holds, and we might as well have something that will sound like what we sound like (i.e. with me singing lead) for getting new venues.

It’s all up in the air as far as auditions are concerned…especially considering last Thursday’s auditions were horrifying. First, we had this nice gentleman named Scott. He belonged at the American Idol auditions, because he was completely deluded. The man can’t sing. He can barely play guitar. His tone was horrible. Not to mention the fact that he would be a William Hung-esque nightmare fronting a party band.

The second auditioner (Whitney) didn’t bother to show up – “oh, I forgot…” Look, girl – show a little goddamn respect. All I know is that if I tell someone I’m interested in being a part of their band, I’m actually interested in the band and I will fucking remember to show up. Truly pathetic.

Well, that’s all for now. I’m sure you can tell I’ve been stressed. More auditions this week…I want this to be over so we can just get back to the band and I can get back to making my own music. As of right now I have to learn our entire songlist, because I don’t want to have a music stand with a lyric book on stage if I can help it. I’ll probably just put the book on the floor, just in the event of catastrophic brain farts…