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The past few months

The past few months

So the past few months have been quite interesting. I moved in with my lovely girlfriend Erin, which has been great. I played some weird-and-awesome fill-in gigs, I “joined” then quit a band (I’ll explain the quotes in a bit), and I discovered I have some issues with how I’ve been relating to music and gigging, and in general have done a lot of self-reflection.

On to the first part – The move went really well and I’ve set up a nice studio in the upstairs loft area, with my electronic drumset to one side of the studio desk, and my keyboard controller and guitars lined up to the other side. The room has a lot of reflections, so I’m going to have to figure out some ways to make it deader for any voiceovers or singing I might want to do, but that’s all in the works.

I played some fill-in gigs, in various configurations, with a band (Texas Players) that features Roman Holiday drummer, and my brother-from-another-mother Lee Thompson on drums. The gigs were crazy but fun in their own way – something I didn’t think was possible with that particular band. I may have these out of order chronologically, but I’ll share them anyway. First was filling in on bass with a second guitarist (Paul Lidel, who is awesome) instead of the usual keyboardist (my friend Shelley), and that gig went AMAZING. We sounded great with minimal trainwrecks and it was super fun. Then I filled in as the guitarist with the usual keyboardist, which was nerve-wracking (more about this later in the “guitar freaks me the fuck out” part of this post in part three below), but ultimately ended up working out, and apparently we sounded good. Then we had a last-minute gig where I insisted on being the bassist, and we found another guy (another friend, David Houston, who gigs more as a bassist these days) to play guitar with Lee and Shelley and me. This one was sort of all over the place, but as the night wore on it became truly fun. Eventually I grabbed David’s guitar and he played my bass and we did all kinds of weird things, including a fun version of Rush’s “Working Man” where I tried to recall all the parts of the guitar solo while I played the song. The crowd seemed to enjoy themselves a LOT, which was good, because I don’t think we sounded that awesome overall, but we did our best on short notice! Three fun gigs with TP in a row. About 6 months ago I could never imagine that being the case (I was frustrated with the experience of filling in with them even though I liked them personally).

Part three involved my experience with a well-equipped, well-booked cover band that I won’t name because I’m afraid people will get the wrong idea about them based on my individual perspective and experience (don’t want the search terms directing people here). I met with them mid-January to say I’d cover some upcoming shows for them so they wouldn’t have to cancel, and for some reason they interpreted my covering the shows as joining the band. Which was weird, because I hadn’t joined (and I didn’t see that they’d posted my joining to their Facebook page until almost a week later, so I was shocked and a little annoyed), but I liked the guys, so I didn’t say anything about it. Then we got into the rehearsal room, and I was even more shocked to discover that they didn’t really even know their own song list very well. This is something I can’t fathom. They had been a band for a WHILE and very few of the songs were outside of the “cover band standards” realm, and none of them were difficult to play. It is extraordinarily hard to get involved with a group when they haven’t even invested in their own material and you’re expected to slot in. The guitarist knew what he was doing, so that made it slightly easier for me coming in as lead guitarist, but the bassist and drummer were completely inconsistent with what they knew and/or could pull off. And it completely put me off from the start. Two strikes and we’d only played together one time.

Because I was in the process of moving, I wasn’t really available for rehearsals, and there were many discussions via email about what songs to play, and as we inched closer to a list that was long enough for covering a 4-hour bar gig, no one seemed to want to say, “THIS IS WHAT WE’RE DOING”. I think this is fairly common in bands, because no one wants to be the source of any butthurt in their bandmates, but I just couldn’t believe they didn’t have a set repertoire already and ready to go that I could just work from. Stuff would be added and removed, pointless songs that have no public traction anymore deleted from the list, tired-but-workable classics added with whining pretty much every time one was suggested. It was irritating, and that further soured my experience with the group. But I liked the idea of being lead guitarist and lead singer on most of the material, so I hunkered down and started woodshedding.

Let’s jump to an aside here for a moment. I have issues with being a guitarist in a band. It has more to do with wanting to be awesome even though I’m pretty inexperienced at getting a consistent good live tone. I have nothing but confidence as a bassist, having the experience of gigging regularly in that role in a variety of situations for 20-plus years. But as a guitarist, I had one little time between 2005-2006 and one little time in 2014 when I had done it, and that was about it. So being the “quality above all” musician I try to be, I know I can bring “teh suck” with my live sound sometimes, and that uncertainty and lack of preparation sets me up for serious anxiety. I always want to be awesome. I always want to impress people. I remember a quote from Joe Dimaggio when a reporter asked why he played so hard all the time, and it stuck with me: “Because there might have been somebody in the stands today who’d never seen my play before, and might never see me again.” I guess it might be rooted a little in my ego, but I’m like that about being kind to people, too, so maybe it’s just the unquenchable thirst for external approval of me as a person. I desperately need to be liked. And on that, like many people, I create fantasies of people hating me because of things they probably don’t even notice. It’s ridiculous and I’ve worked on ways to not let this sort of destructive thinking ruin experiences for me, but it’s a work in progress. Speaking of which…

This cover band had its first gig with me at a nice pool hall (not an oxymoron – it actually is a nice place) way up north in town. They used in-ear monitors, which I have not had very good luck with in the past. Despite not being able to hear myself most of the show, I didn’t completely eat shit, and that had a lot to do with working so damn hard on the material even though every time I tried to sit with it and work things out I desperately wanted to be doing something else. I haven’t quite figured out the psychology of this. Like I said before, this is a well-equipped, well-booked band with guys that I like in it. But doing anything for it made me anxious and frustrated. Partially because I felt like I was getting nothing from anyone in the band in terms of a cohesive direction with the material, and partially because when we’d get together to practice, only one of the three guys seemed to have actually done outside practice. I was HATING my experience.

I was ready to quit after the first gig, but I didn’t want to fuck them over, so I figured I’d tell them, “hey, I’ll do the March show, and then I’m done”, and then two more shows were booked in March. One of them completely without my knowledge. So I soldiered on, trying to accept the awkward reality of the half-assed, well-equipped, well-booked cover band full of guys I liked personally but who didn’t seem to work very hard on learning the songs. I figured at least it’d give me more guitar experience. I played the first March gig – again at the same nice pool hall up north. It went okay – I had better luck with the in-ears. Clips of my singing/playing showed me I was pretty good at this crap. But my frustration continued to grow. Then about a week before the show on 3-25, we noticed another one had been booked for 3-26 by the drummer without half the band’s knowledge. This was it for me. First they join me in the band without my consent, now they’re booking gigs and not even telling me? FUCK THAT SHIT. The week we were to play the gig on the 25th, they booked another show on 4-15, and that’s when I decided that if I didn’t have a complete blast playing the 3-25 and 3-26 shows, I was quitting the band as of the 4-15 show which would give the guys enough notice to find someone to cover the shows in May.

Well, that show was this past Friday night. And I played really well. I actually sort of had fun with it, and the fact that it was at the same venue where I first met with the guys and talked about covering shows was a nice completion of the circle for me. I appreciate that they gave me a shot, and I hope they don’t hate me for bailing on them or sharing my perspective here, but if they really want to compete with the Suedes of this town, they are going to need to improve a lot about the band. I’m not terribly sorry to not be a part of that improvement (and I know I definitely was, based on things I heard from most everyone connected to the band who had seen other versions of it), but I do wish them well.

So now that it’s over, I’m happy to have had the experience. It SUCKED for me, but it taught me things and drove me inside for some serious emotional inventory. Like that I miss Roman Holiday and want a band like that again, or at least something like that (“something like that” is currently brewing, and I’m really hoping we are able to make it happen). I’m going to learn how to be pushy and try to book gigs for my solo show and for this new band, once it’s up and running. As much as working with a well-equipped, well-booked band can be nice, for me it’s not worth it if it’s not fun. And I hated being an obstacle to booking because of my weird schedule. I feel that if I’m in charge, it’ll be much easier to manage with my availability.

And back to the new home stuff – now that I have a studio set up at the house, I WILL be producing more content. I will also be doing live performances of songs and maybe even some live “vlogging” (hello, 2007 terminology) on Facebook Live, which is pretty awesome if you ask me. So watch out for that.

I’m hoping for all good things in the music realm from now on, Connecting with my music more emotionally, performing with heart and spirit and really driving a party both as a solo and with the new trio, and hopefully finding a way to get all my music recorded so I can share it with the world. If I write new stuff, awesome, but I think just going through and recording what I’ve already written will be a good start.

Thank you for reading my ramblings, and thank you to the guys in the well-equipped, well-booked cover band for giving me a learning experience and being nice to me through it. Onward and outward (and hopefully upward)!

Peace be the journey!
TMS

So my blogging is probably going to become more frequent…

So my blogging is probably going to become more frequent…

As I now have a fun little portable device that will allow me to easily type and share stuff from my new iPad Mini (thanks for the hand-me-down, Heather!)

I got a case that has an integrated keyboard that is very small but actually quite functional, with real keys instead of being all rubbery.

So now to the updates…
I’m theoretically back with Capital Suspects once our schedules more properly align, which makes me very happy.

I’ve been filling in here and there with Texas Players, which has been a learning experience.

I’m now down a venue for my solo acoustic act, as 121 On Main closed a couple of weeks ago. Fortunately I’ve gotten a few bookings through Stargazer Live, which is nice – Cord’s been good to me and I appreciate it. I need to come up with a proper game plan for getting regular work down in my part of town, maybe even a weekly or bi-weekly show. Anyone with ideas on good venues where you’ve seen solo acoustic performers down south or Downtown, please send me a message and let me know.

The biggest news, I guess, is that I think I’m going to start doing some real recording again. I’m revisiting some old songs and song ideas I’ve saved on my phone and I think that there’s a lot of promise there. I think I’ll be able to easily hack some of the stuff into workable, good little tunes. Once they’re suitable for public consumption I’ll share them, but not before then. I’ve got enough half-assed shit out there on the net already. 🙂

Thanks for reading and look out for more soon!
TMS

So I played two shows and then…

So I played two shows and then…

BUPKIS.

Now, things are looking really good for getting back in there (I’m literally texting with the booking agent in between typing sentences here), but it’s still frustrating because I really wanted to make this a very regular thing – at least once a month, preferably two or three times. It’s SO MUCH FUN and the extra cash is very helpful. 🙂

On other fronts, I’m trying to work out scheduling to sing some backing vocals for my friend’s first album, which is terrifying and exciting all rolled into one. I don’t consider myself much of a singer, which is probably silly, since I’ve been doing it in front of people for money on a regular basis now for 16 years, but it’s the fact that I’m not properly trained that keeps me from feeling good about my singing. I know I could be better. I even want to take lessons. Financially that hasn’t been an option.

I did get a promotion at the day job, which is nice, since it came with some extra scratch, which will make the solo gig money even more spendable. Perhaps on things like vocal lessons. 🙂

I’ve stalled at creating new music…but I am definitely feeling like it’s time to record some stuff. My main recording computer cooked a power supply last weekend, and fortunately that’s all that cooked, so after a $30 replacement it’s back up and running, but it scared me. I’m a creative person that hasn’t been creating, and that makes me feel like a fraud. I need to DO SOME SHIT. So I will.

And hopefully it’ll be worthy of posting here in Bloggington.

Peace, love, and good happiness stuff…
TMS

SOLO ACOUSTIC SHOW? Check.

SOLO ACOUSTIC SHOW? Check.

I FINALLY DID IT! I played a solo show this past Saturday. I’m quite excited about it. I had a pile of people come see me, and I recorded the whole thing on cruddy video (but good audio), so I will be posting clips here at some point. I played a broad mix of pop and rock stuff and it was very well-received by the audience. The owners of the place I played were very happy and said I did a great job. So, does this mean it’s going to happen on a regular basis now? I certainly hope so. Time to go build a website for this new endeavor…

I’ll write more later. I’m just excited.
TMS

A tribute to Jack Bruce

A tribute to Jack Bruce

When I was a small child, living in East Islip, NY, there are a few hazy memories that for some reason stick with me (we moved away when I was five years old). One of those memories was of our neighbors, the Infantes. I remember they had a dog. I remember they had a 1960s or early 1970s Chevy Impala that they used to park in the street. And I remember that their son Mike loved the album “Best Of Cream” that my dad had. So from a very very early age, Cream was on my radar.

When I got to be about 12 or 13, I started to become really obsessed with the idea of playing music – of actually making it myself. This new idea was largely a product of a new friend I made when my family moved from the Bay Area in California to central New Jersey near Princeton. His name was Ty Phillips, and he was very inspiring to me. He played trumpet, and he had a little Casio keyboard (an MT-100) that he used to make little compositions on. He also liked to hear music his dad would play for him. I always loved when my dad did that, too. And one of the bands my dad would play for me was Cream.

I remember being enchanted by the raw power of “Sunshine Of Your Love” and the weirdness of “SWLABR” and its tale of rainbows with beards, and I remember being moved by the propulsive live track “Crossroads” and its amazing guitar playing. But my favorite song – and still one of my favorite songs of all time – was “Badge”. Propelled by Jack Bruce’s signature bass line and his high-but-not-feminine vocal performance, it has lyrics that made almost no sense to me at all, and still don’t, but the music is so captivating I’ve never cared. That bass line is one of the first bass lines I ever learned – it’s a major part of what made me want to become a bassist. And that middle section before the guitar solo with the phase-shifted guitar pattern might be one of the most fantastic bits of music ever recorded.

Second to “Badge” was the song “White Room”. I always loved the thumping, almost orchestral-sounding intro with Ginger Baker’s pounding drum pattern and the sustaining guitar harmonies. Then the song takes off into muscular verses with a descending chord pattern that countless classic rock acts would ape in their own compositions. And then pretty falsetto singing in the chorus with wah-wah guitar that made me want to own a wah pedal immediately even before I knew what one was. It’s amazing that such a noodly, wanky band like The Cream had so many tightly-constructed pop songs. I guess they sort of lived a double life, though…tightly-constructed recorded music, insane improvisational live shows.

Over the years, I sort of wore out that “Best of Cream” record. Even when I first stole it from my dad it had a scratch on “White Room” that made me think that the line “black roof country” is going to go, “black roof-black roof-black roof…” When I finally got “Strange Brew – The Very Best of Cream” on CD in my 20s, I never even realized that the version of White Room on that vinyl LP I had was not only scratched, but it was an EDIT! There was even more of this wonderful song to enjoy.

And so, as a tribute to a major bass and vocal hero of mine, Jack Bruce, I submit the next Bathroom Schizo offering – “White Room” direct from my (off-)white (bath)room:

If you stay until the end, I’ve added a short clip of my old band from Jacksonville, Slaphappy, performing “Sunshine Of Your Love” at a show in January 2005, shortly before it ended. I hope you enjoy this little tribute and may Jack Bruce rest in peace. I’m glad his music is still around to make us all happy and challenge those of us who try to recreate it. I know I’m a better musician because he was one of the people I strived to emulate.

Badge:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSpW6MePb10
White Room: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkae0-TgrRU

A Spotify playlist of some choice Cream stuff (not sure if this will work, but hey, worth a shot): http://open.spotify.com/user/brianvitellaro/playlist/2KrjFpGVqca2qOpypFTOgK

Peace and love,
TMS

New poop from The Bathroom Schizo!

New poop from The Bathroom Schizo!

Here’s a video of me singing a Poison song. Which 15-year-old me would have kicked my ass for doing.

More to come…and this is all leading up to some live, non-bathroom performances of these songs in public, as soon as I book some shows.

Thanks and peace be the journey…
TMS

Life’s “noise”

Life’s “noise”

I haven’t been inspired to write anything in a long time. I’ve sat down on so many occasions, trying to some up with something neat, and I think maybe I’ve written one riff/chord progression that might become a song at some point in the last six months. It drives me up the wall, because I used to be such a prolific writer. Of course, that was a LONG time ago (we’re talking over a decade), and before I had a family, so my life was quite different and I was not the same person then. I was lonely. I had a lot of time on my hands. Now I have almost no time on my hands, and the time I have, whenever I try to do something musical, just makes me sad because I can’t seem to come up with anything. I think my mind is suffering from a lot of “noise”. My day job isn’t inherently stressful, but I make it that way because I care far too much about it. I have a really weird focus when it comes to certain things, and my reactions to life seem sort of out of whack. I get really mad and frustrated at little things that are often out of my control, and am almost numb and emotionless when things more important to me or life in general go wrong that were in my power to shape. I haven’t been able to figure out why this is, or how to change this upside-down way I react to things, but at least I recognize it’s there, which is the first step to dealing with it.

This relates to music because this noise is drowning out creation and inspiration. There have been times when I have felt truly inspired in the last year – one day when I took the morning off I wrote a song. It came really fast and seemed really good. Now when I listen to it, it’s basically way too wordy to work, though I still LOVE the chord progression and feel. I just have to modify/rewrite the melody it to make it workable, and I haven’t been able to muster the energy to do it. I have a lot of older songs that basically need new words (the music is great), but I haven’t been able to find anything I really want to say that doesn’t sound forced or cliche. It’s kind of driving me nuts, because the words have always been EASIER than the music for me. Maybe it was just that I didn’t care as much about them then, and kind of let whatever come out come out, but it’s still frustrating. Sometimes they turned out really well (especially on the songs I wrote from 2004-2006), other times, well, I’m embarrassed to even sing them now. Considering how I feel about lyrics, and how much more important they’ve become to me as I’ve grown older, I think the combination of the aforementioned “noise of life” and my own paralyzing self-editing are crippling my creativity.

So what is the way out of this? I honestly don’t know. If you read this and have any good ideas, I’d appreciate them. But I will eventually find something that inspires me and allows me to create. I think I’ve mentioned before how much the setup and cleanliness of my studio frustrate me now. I definitely need to find a way to reorganize it so that it’s more functional. I also need to get rid of a lot of crap that lives in my garage and set up a comfortable place for have people over to jam, because I think I derive a bunch of inspiration from just jamming out ideas with people. Maybe I can put together a band and shape my existing songs, because that might inspire some writing as well. All I know is that playing in the cover band is fun and easy, and has been quite a salve for the pain of not being creative when we’ve had regular gigs. I just need to make the time to play more, get together with the guys a little more, even if we don’t have gigs, and maybe even explore some other fun musical projects with some friends with whom I haven’t yet really had the chance to work.

Thanks for reading this long message…although I doubt anyone would get this far, if you have, you’re a special person and I am grateful. I have an art show gig with Roman Holiday at the end of the month that should be fun, and hopefully a rehearsal or two before that, so things should be ramping up in that regard. We also should be booking our spring/summer shows soon, so knowing we’ve got stuff coming up will be a good cure to the winter doldrums.

It’s been really rainy the past few days, and it feels like we’re in Seattle. The upside of this is the cedar and mold pollen are pretty mellow right now, so my allergies aren’t screwing me up and making it so I can’t sing as well as I know I can. I do need to practice that more so I can improve my consistency and control, but when is that not the case? Singing is really fun. On that note, and as a followup to my last blog, I haven’t heard a peep from the Capital Suspects guys, so I’m not sure what’s up with that. I guess they don’t need me to fill in…which is okay. I hope they find someone great for their position, but I did have a lot of fun being “The Singer” for a night.

Happy New Year and all my best in 2012!
TMS