With apologies to (and endless admiration for) Shakira’s hips, there’s another thing that don’t lie: Tape. If one ever wants to be made to feel like you’re nowhere near the musician or singer you think you are, you need to record yourself. Humbling is GOOD. But it’s also NOT FUN.

I pulled a multi-track recording off the Allen & Heath QU-16 mixer that me and the other Bings were playing through, and HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

I SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK as a backing vocalist.

My lead vocals and bass playing aren’t terrible for most of the show. They have suck moments, and are often mediocre rhythmically, but my backing vocals are almost all terrible.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure casual listeners of music might not notice most of the suckage, but when you reach a certain level of knowledge and understanding of music, you really hear all the warts. There were many times we were performing this same list of songs where I thought something was off, and often I could pinpoint it, but I had never really recorded something that isolated all our performances like a multi-track recording. Talk about brutal honesty. There are times in life when you are blind to your own fetid stench. You get used to it, so you don’t smell it. It’s like I didn’t have a nose and the mixer gave me one. I really thought I was doing an okay job. It didn’t sound awful in my in-ear monitors (which tend to be very revealing of flaws), so I had no idea.

In times like these, my first impulse is usually to quit, because I’m horribly embarrassed that I put that chunge out there in front of people. I always want to impress, because it makes people happy (and usually they express that happiness by saying something nice to me about my performance). Fortunately, my next impulse after wanting to hang it all up is usually SOLVE THE PROBLEM. In this case, the problem is my crap-ass, out-of-tune backing vocals. I’m going to have to go through the parts and learn them right and then practice them over and over so they’re just in my muscle memory. I’m also going to do my faux custom molds for another set of in-ear monitors I own because I think that the lack of overall clarity in the ones I’m using might be contributing to the suckage. I’m not blaming the tools, but I definitely want to be more aware when I’m stinking up the joint. Maybe better monitors is the key.

The recordings also reveal a lot of flaws in my bandmates’ performances, too. Taken all together, it actually doesn’t sound horrible, but if I decide to do something with these recordings other than make myself sad, there are definitely times when I’ll be either re-recording or simply removing failed attempts at harmony and other mistakes.

The moral of the story is record early and record often, and don’t be discouraged. Turn your discouragement into encouragement. You CAN learn those parts. You just have to put in the time and effort. I know in my lead singer days I’d record stuff, notice parts where I was straining for a note and took the time to work out how to do that more effectively. I think it might be time to get back into that habit. I also think that you, loyal reader, should do the same if you are a performer of any kind. Don’t be afraid of the tape, and don’t have so much of an ego that you can’t be open to SUCKING HARD sometimes. We all fall down. It’s how we get back up that matters.

I believe musicians in bands that do interpretations of classic songs and aren’t trying to be “note perfect” should be brave and try things. We definitely do a lot of that in Chandler and The Bings, since generally we care more about playing a fun show than being “perfect”. I remember reading an interview with Edward Van Halen where he talked about his philosophy on taking risks musically and jamming – he said it’s all “falling down the stairs and landing on your feet”. I have always tried to follow this philosophy, and there have been times that it’s worked out and times when it’s been awful. Since the band isn’t purely an improvisational experience, and there are defined things I need to be doing, it doesn’t directly apply, but the way I approach my bass playing on the songs is definitely adventurous and I’m very proud of it most of the time. In these contexts, I do generally fall down the stairs and land on my feet. I am not as skilled a backup singer as I am a bassist, though, so I think I need to spend a little more time on the basics of singing backups so that when I do go for it, my percentages get higher. Most of the big swings for backing vocal stuff at the show were misses. The bigger problem was how often my defined parts were misses.

I was going through the songs, and there were so many times I was off it was disheartening. When I sang lead, I pretty much killed it (pretty much), but so many times I tried to get in when Pat or Alon were singing, I was off. I hate that. I don’t want to be the piece that’s making things sound like shit. I want to be the piece that makes everything come together and sound AWESOME. So it’s time to put in some work. And I better do it quickly – I’ve got a baby coming in a few weeks.

I’m looking forward to being a smoothly lubricated, quiet wheel instead of the squeaky one I am right now. Practice will be the grease to get me there. And the fact that the “tape don’t lie” got me to notice I need some work.

Thanks for reading, and come see us Chandler and The Bings fellas sometime. I’ll be singing better.

RECORD YOURSELF!
TMS