So since the last one, life’s been A LOT.

I dragged the family to Florida to see the parents and my bro and his wife and my nieces (and I managed to squeeze in a couple of friends in the process), and though I wouldn’t call it a vacation, it certainly was a trip. I drove straight through both there and back, stopping only for gas, food, and naps. I don’t know that it was a smart thing to do, but I did it.

We stayed at a cool AirBnB that had a little FARM attached to it, so we got to hang around with goats, a big fat pig named Petunia, and some kitties. It’s on a street in Middleburg called Brickyard Road where Ronnie Van Zant from Lynyrd Skynyrd once lived. His little brother Johnny immortalized it in a song that was a minor hit around 1990 or so, and that song has always stuck in my head for some reason, so it was a trip staying on the actual street.

An even BIGGER trip was sitting at the light at College Avenue and 220 and seeing the actual Johnny Van Zant right next to me in his big-ass black pickup. We exchanged nods. It was pretty cool.

But back to the trip – I got to spend time with my friend Joe who has become quite the ukulele aficionado, with several beautiful, handcrafted Hawaiian ukuleles at his place (and I got to play a LOT of them, so I was happy). And my old pal Dennis and I did the standard “Chilis in Mandarin and talk for four hours” hang. I love those guys so much and wish I was still close.

After having a minor mental breakdown one evening, I needed some solitude. Instead of going to a park by the river and staring at the water like I typically would in those situations, I decided to say “fuck it” and go out. I saw on social media that an old bandmate of mine (who I hadn’t seen since I moved to Texas, and hadn’t talked to in YEARS) was playing there with his new-ish band that night. Though the venue itself was sort of dead for a Saturday, they had Yuengling on tap there and the band’s song list was awesome (though to be honest, the music tyrant in me had some issues with the singer). Once they finished a set I went up to the stage and yelled to my old friend T.J.. I guess I was mildly concerned he’d be like, “uh, what? who?” Thankfully for my mental health, he was blown away that I was there…we had a great chat, they played another set, and I hung around for the rest of the show, gabbing with him (and trying to avoid being a nuisance) as they were tearing down. It was great. Getting out on my own and being randomly social definitely helped me deal with the issues I’d been dealing with earlier in the evening.

There was one thing about the trip I didn’t like – I really didn’t see many of my friends. The previously-mentioned Joe and Dennis are basically brothers, so there was no way I wasn’t going to see them, but I have a lot of other friends there I care about, and no one reached out when I shared I was coming to town.

I realize that people have lives. I realize that not all posts reach all people on social media, so it’s entirely possible that was why. But I guess I felt that more of my friends would have made an effort to reach out and try to hang with me while I was around. But maybe I’m nuts, you know? I left Florida in 2006. That was almost 16 years ago!

I have a serious issue with always feeling like the one who tries too hard to maintain relationships. Like Melissa Joan Hart’s character in “Can’t Hardly Wait” – I just want everyone to sign my yearbook. I mean, cognitively I know that it’s fine – when I see people, we’ll have a great time and it’ll be like no time has passed – but I still feel like I’m the one making the effort with most people. I don’t love feeling that way, because it reminds me of having my closest friend move away after 8th grade and entering high school with basically no friends who really made me feel like they gave a shit. It did a number on my self-worth – pretty much poisoned my self-confidence for the rest of my life, actually. Which is silly, but it’s just what happens sometimes if you don’t address the issues. I did a lot of great therapy for my self-worth issues years ago, and I’m actually MUCH better in that department, but every now and then stuff happens that puts me right back there.

I had been kind of blue the past few months, so that made it kind of worse, but seeing my mom and dad and brother and his family was definitely restorative and set the sads aside. So ultimately it was a good trip, just too short. I cut it short because Chandler and The Bings had a St. Patrick’s Day show.

I got back to Austin on the 16th and promptly passed out. I woke St. Patrick’s Day morning to the horrible news that a super great guy and awesome guitarist who played with Alon in our brother band “More Cowbell” had passed. He was beloved by all who knew him. Just a smart, quiet, kind, talented cat. Loved that guy. Rest in peace, Ed Martinez. My love to his family and his friends (including his fellow founding member of More Cowbell and my friend and bandmate Alon Bernstein).

Despite our melancholy, Chandler and The Bings had a good show on St. Patrick’s Day (Ed was in our hearts the whole time), and then we played Saturday and it went great AGAIN, so we pulled it together. It’s nice to know we can have big gaps and still sound like us. It’s so good when you can get a band and a repertoire to that point.

I’m in the process of (once again) moving the studio around for better workflow, and I think this time my plan is going to work great – keeping all the music and video creating stuff at the ready at all times, so I’ll probably start livestreaming more often. I might even do the previously-threatened regular weekly livestream that I talked about before. We shall see.

Got another Bings gig Saturday night and a solo 360 UNO gig on April 2nd, so I’m plugging along.

Take care, stay healthy, and be kind.

Peace be the journey! (Yes. PEACE. I’m talking to you, Vladmir, you murderous piece of shit.)
TMS