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Museday Mumblings (Vol. 78): Life Living You

Museday Mumblings (Vol. 78): Life Living You

I think I’ve addressed this before here on the blog, but I think sometimes you live life, and sometimes life lives you.

You feel like you have choices when you’re living life.

You feel like you’re just following a to-do list if life is living you.

Right now, it really does feel like life is living me instead of the other way around.

To be clear – some of the most fantastic things have been happening the past few months, from my 50th Birthday with surprise visits from my parents and a cousin I hadn’t seen in years to a couple of wonderful trips to North Carolina and Atlanta to see friends and band reunions. And reuniting with my best friend from high school who I hadn’t seen in over 20 years and finally meeting his wife and wonderful boys. SO MUCH LOVE!

But even as it’s been great, everything’s been SCHEDULED. My wife and I haven’t really had good alone time because we have a little kid and no good sitters. Work has been relentless for both of us, and SUPER STRESSFUL for my wife. Gigs have been very sporadic (which serve as a nice salve for my psyche, so that’s not good).

Some days I feel like I’m just driving people places and then sitting in a room for hours on a computer cutting up voiceovers I’m not particularly pleased with and mixing with music that’s ALMOST right for the commercials while periodically being interrupted by questions that have often already been answered.

I’m sure a lot of people go through this stuff, and honestly, I’m usually fairly good at forcing myself to be present and not just muddle through. But right now? It’s not going great. So I’m writing this at 1:41am to kind of put it out there so I can move on from it and take more action in my life.

Recently for the day job I had to create a jingle out of some really questionable a cappella singing, so I threw that pitchy mess into Melodyne (a wonderful software for naturally removing pitchiness), and wrote and recorded music to match the flow of the melody (which was a VERY atypical arrangement). Shockingly, it turned out fairly decent. I had polished the turd to a fine sheen (and they ended up going with the original a cappella…go figure).

The good part about that was discovering how quickly I can throw together music that is a full arrangement (the cleaned-up voice, along with guitar, bass, and drums I played on my Korg X50 keyboard). It really inspired me to possibly use those same techniques to get my songs done and start using my DistroKid account to make them available for people to listen and/or buy on all the streaming services.

So I know I’ve said it before, but I really do think that I’ll actually be finishing some songs in the coming months, and probably releasing them in chunks as EPs on Spotify and stuff like that.

That is, if I can manage to stop letting life live me and turn that shit around so I’m living life.

Wish me luck!

And if you also feel like life has been living you, I feel you. And I’m hoping for your sake you can turn that shit around as well.

Take care, and Peace be the journey!
TMS

Museday Mumblings (Vol. 76) – A Case of The Musedays

Museday Mumblings (Vol. 76) – A Case of The Musedays

Well, it’s a Museday. The last time I posted was in late September. Clearly life is having its way with me right now, as I’m not particularly inspired to even blather on here on the blog.

This series was meant to be almost a meditation – every Tuesday (or so) I’d post about some topic, whether it be musical or otherwise (but mostly musical), and it would keep me creating and creative. But a few things happened over the last year or so that really messed with my desire to share much of what’s going on with me publicly. People who are too sensitive. Beloved friends slightly younger than me who died suddenly. The tennis match-like back-and-forth of worthiness and worthlessness that is being a sensitive artist.

I desperately want to WANT to create. I desperately want to FEEL like people I depend on for music-related things are all on the same page. But time creates distance, distance increases anxiety, anxiety breeds worry, worry breeds resentment. I’m not saying anything is REAL about how I feel about the various things I’m doing or my relationships with music stuff, but it’s definitely making me feel less motivated in general, and kind of depressing me (and thus keeping me from working on stuff).

But let’s take stock. Let’s have ourselves one of them certified, Erin-phrase-coined “Gratitude Adjustments”:

In 2022, I played a PILE of wonderful shows with my boys in Chandler and The Bings. And I played my roles as bassist and singer well in the vast majority of them, which makes me very proud. We had a great bonding experience with our trip to Laredo that was only sullied by a bad stomach bug which led to the very first time I’ve ever left the stage to vomit…and then vomited off the side of the stage out of the view of the crowd. It’s quite a story that’s quite gross, and if you’d like to hear it, I’m happy to tell it in person.

My solo shows were mostly pretty good, and I was VERY consistent this year, basically playing every first Saturday except for July. I love the venue, the staff is wonderful, people tip very well, and I really need to grow this side of my musicianship. I think it would be good for my development to have some bigger crowds to play to, though. So I’m going to work towards that in 2023, stacking up the wonderful venue I already play and maybe even finding some more…

I got some very cool new gear and some of my existing gear got an AMAZING update that inspires me to play more, which is good. I keep meaning to make videos about the guitar and little amp, but that’s another casualty of life in general. Just hasn’t happened yet.

My body has held up pretty well considering I packed on an extra 15 lbs this year. Going to do my best to get that off in triplicate this year, hopefully by my birthday in September. That might be too tall an order, but progress toward healthy living is most important. My health is paramount and I need to stick around for my kiddos.

To close this out:

I am thankful that I can still do this music stuff.

I am grateful that my health so far has remained pretty good (gotta figure out the heart flutter, but…)

I am hopeful that I can stay disciplined and make the necessary changes to lead a more healthy lifestyle.

Now that this is turning into a “Goals” post – completely unrelated to the fact that it’s a new year, mind you – my goals are now to get healthy, get better at playing the songs I perform, get working on my ear training and theory knowledge, get the worthy songs I’ve written recorded, mix the old ones that were already recorded better (and improve the performances if necessary), get some new songs together, release some new music (having one song on the streaming platforms seems kind of sad), get my goddamn ass in gear in general, and get some MONEY.

That’d be nice, right? Rent is EXPENSIVE. Shit, everything is.

Anyway, thanks for reading and I plan to get back in this Museday Mumblings habit again. Have a happy day whenever you see this, and may you stay healthy and safe.

Peace be the journey!
TMS

Museday Mumblings (Vol. 72): BACK ON THE BOAT!

Museday Mumblings (Vol. 72): BACK ON THE BOAT!

The rumors are true – I am setting sail again…back on the Yacht Z crew!

If you reference the reasons I left (from this previous blog post) – it had nothing to do with personalities or anything musical. It had everything to do with ME. And I’m in a different place now, mentally and physically. Rehearsal is easier now that we have good mitigating strategies for COVID. I’m still a little rusty, but I’ve been playing more guitar because of the solo stuff, and I’m hearing better and singing better, so I’m confident things will come together more easily for me this time, which will allow for proper time with family, too.

A couple of other cool things…got a super deal on a “previously loved” Elgato Stream Deck that is definitely making my work life easier (and looks super cool to have on the desk). I’m going to make some custom earpieces for my in-ear monitors like I did for my old ones (using the custom earplug material from Radians), to hopefully make wearing them a little more consistent and pleasant at shows.

And a comment on America: If your religion pollutes your ability to be rational and use reason, you have no business making decisions for other people or about settled law. Resign.

Peace be the journey.
TMS

Museday Mumblings (Vol. 6): Luke and The Dude

Museday Mumblings (Vol. 6): Luke and The Dude

I have just finished reading “The Gospel According to Luke”, Steve Lukather’s autobiography. I won’t be disappointed if you don’t know who Steve Lukather is, but I will tell you that you’ve listened to pop music made between 1975 and 1995, you’ve heard him play.

Lukather’s been a bit of a hero of mine for a long time. I deeply admire the fact that he’s a true virtuoso – blessed with that immediate “music just makes sense to me” instinct, but with the drive to always seek and learn. I like to think that if I was blessed with the same drive and ambition I might have ascended to greater heights as a musician, because for me it was just kind of easy from the start, things just sort of made sense. Sadly I’ve never worked as hard as I should have. Now I steal time to try and improve my playing, but life with my wife and kids is honestly more interesting to me than perfecting my hand synchronization or memorizing/internalizing the fretboard or learning to sight-read music.

But back to Luke (that’s what people call him, generally). His notable works as one of the most prolific session guitarists in the history of recorded music swing from movie soundtracks to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” to Michael McDonald’s “I Keep Forgettin'” to Spinal Tap’s “Break Like The Wind”. He was one of THE GUYS of the Yacht Rock era and had his fingers on every bit of pop music in the 80s, from hard rock to R&B. He was one of Quincy Jones’ go-to guys, appearing on most of what Q produced through the 80s and early 90s. His ability to come up with exactly the right part for something is virtually unparallelled. His improvisations on solos, a weird-but-always-melodic mix of his biggest influences from the Beatles to British Blues to Funk to Bebop, still “raise the fur” for me to this day. He just kills it. All the time. And he’s a goddamn character, too.

His book is so specifically written in his voice, if you’ve ever heard him talk you will hear him narrate the stories to you in your head. With his “Valley dude meets jazz cat” speech mannerisms and liberal use of profanity, it honestly feels like you’re hanging out with him while he’s telling you stories.

So why did I title this Luke and The Dude? Well, Lukather tells some stories about his interactions with various people in the music industry, and particularly about how his “friend” David Foster (look him up – you’ve heard his stuff, too) responded to Luke and his gang in their band Toto cleaned up at the Grammys in 1983 behind their legendary album Toto IV – they won album and record of the year (for the song Rosanna – my son’s favorite tune and one I’ve yet to tire of after almost 40 years), but the one that really pissed off Foster was Producer of The Year, because he was up for Chicago 16, and Toto beat him. He reacted by kind of shutting Luke out. They were friends, they’d do sessions, hang out, eat meals, everything, and one little award that Luke won that Foster wanted tanked it all. Because David Foster’s a little bitch. I find that true from other stories I’ve read, because he’s one of those producers who makes everything sound the way he wants, not the way the artist necessarily wants it. That is not a philosophy or method of production that I particularly appreciate, even if sometimes it’s amazing (I’m looking at you, Jeff Lynne and Mutt Lange).

Now, on the flip side, another nominee for that Producer of The Year award was the legend Quincy Jones, who was up for tons of awards for his album “The Dude”. When the Toto boys won Producer of The Year, he wasn’t crappy to them at all. He was excited for them and congratulated them.

Heading into reading this book I was pretty sure I was going to enjoy myself. After the last two music books I’d read (“Ted Templeman: A Platinum Producer’s Life In Music” and “Van Halen Rising”), I was kind of starved to read something with the artist’s voice. Those other two books were great, but to be honest, since they were very facts-oriented and they were biographies written by someone else (Greg Renoff – who did a great job telling the stories but has a specific, very facts-oriented documentary/historian-style voice as a writer), they were a little less personal than I’d hoped. Luke’s book was the opposite. It was as I remember Nile Rodgers wonderful book or John Taylor’s. Or even Butch Walker’s book – the writing truly sounded like them. You can’t not read those books and come away from them knowing those guys as people a little more.

So I’m thankful that Luke decided to put it out there, because I’ve connected with him even more deeply than I did just as a fan of his playing.

I sincerely hope I get to meet him someday so we can swap stories about our boys on the spectrum. Maybe I can get him to show me that crazy descending bop-inspired run he does at the end of Rosanna.

If you dig Toto at all, or are interested in some good stories and a fun hang with a goddamn legend, check out The Gospel According To Luke. It’s fun.

Speaking of fun hangs, I had one last night via Google with Patrick from Chandler and The Bings. We talked about all sorts of stuff, and we talked about how thankful we were that the four of us have each other. It’s such a healthy dynamic. It is such a bummer that we aren’t playing shows, but – luxury problem – we REALLY shouldn’t play shows because our shows are usually fairly packed. We’re not putting anyone we love that comes to see us in that position, masks or not.

Instead, we’ve cooked up an excellent take on a Boy Band classic, and we should be releasing it very soon. We’re almost done with the mix, and then once it’s mastered and we clear the rights to release it (which shouldn’t be that bad – shout out to DistroKid for making that part super easy for artists), it will be available for purchase on iTunes and Amazon and stuff like that, and it will be available to stream on Spotify, iHeartRadio, etc. It’s heavy but still has the sassiness of the original, and features tight rhythm section work and some pretty cool parts. Pat and I share lead vocals and we all sing harmonies. It’s gonna be great.

Wear a mask. Physically distance. Black Lives Matter.

And peace be the journey.

TMS

Life and Baby

Life and Baby

The last pieces I wrote for this site were back in March, before my youngest son was born. I had every intention of keeping up with this page more, and turning it into a site tracking the progress of my latest musical project, but baby is more important. This ended up on the back burner. Now that the little dude is 7 months old, and things are sort of normalizing in a way, I decided to pop in and be creative for a second, and maybe write something about what life has been like for me, but the reality is, life hasn’t really changed. Well, that’s not true – life has changed A LOT – but my musical life hasn’t changed one bit. I’m still not recording as much as I want, not getting my songs together for the album I announced over a year ago, and basically just playing shows with the Bings and hitting the occasional jam night when I can (far less frequently now that baby is here). It’s okay, though. I’m pretty happy these days in general. Because of some other life changes, my two older kiddos are living with me full-time, and it’s nice to have those turds around. They’re so good to their little brother, even if they’re incapable of babysitting him. Getting them here has been quite time-consuming, so even more time away from music and blogging. But again, things are starting to normalize a bit and as we get past the unpacking and settling phase for them, we’ll be ready to make some moves on the music part.

As all this is happening, the Bings have gone through some ups and downs, but mostly ups, and now we’ve got a sort of regular show happening on Thursday nights at a place called Stereotype. This past Thursday the evil “I suck at harmonies” monster came back and reared its ugly head, which when added to the fact that I was suffering some horrible back pain due to all the lifting and moving of things, made my night the worst show I’ve played in about five years or so. When I sang lead, things were fine, but outside of that, it was a shit show for me. The good news is that we’ve got another show this coming Thursday, so redemption is around the corner. I’m going to use different in-ears for this show, so hopefully I’ll be able to hear better and thus sing better. We shall see…

You’d think I’d have more to say, but I’m just tired. More to come in the next few weeks. It’s been four or five years since the last set, so I think I’m going to start posting new videos of me singing solo with an acoustic in the bathroom. I just have to decide which bathroom I’m going to use, and what songs I’ll sing. I think Elenore by The Turtles will make an appearance. Perhaps some more gems from my solo acoustic set just for fun. And maybe some Bings songs, too. Maybe I can convince Pat to come over and do a duet with me in the bathroom. That’d be a first.

Thanks for your continued attention and have a wonderful Halloween, All Saints Day/Dia De Los Muertos, and November in general.

TMS

P.S. Ba-by Shark doot do do do do do…Ba-by Shark doot do do do do do…Ba-by Shark doot do do do do do…Baby shark.

Thoughts on “Artistry”

Thoughts on “Artistry”

(note – Just some thoughts. I wrote this piece back in March, but am finally publishing it now. Not sure why I never hit publish.)

As someone who has spent the majority of his musical life as background music for people getting drunk, it’s hard for me to relate to what it must be like to actually create music as art. Sure, I’ve written my fair share of songs, and I have pretty strong opinions on what I like and don’t like about things I and others have created, but I’ve never seen myself as an artist, or my work as artistry.

I wonder sometimes if that’s just me avoiding actually putting myself out there for judgment or if it’s putting art on a pedestal, or a mix of both. I definitely am proud of some of the stuff I’ve created, and I’m definitely proud of some of the ways I’ve put my stamp on other people’s work through my experience in cover bands of various types.

I’m inherently not a precious person when it comes to creating musical things, which is to my detriment, I think. I do believe I’d have something to offer as an artist. I just carry this inbuilt suspicion and animosity toward the very act of being precious, with the notable exception that I’m all in if it’s an artist I love – they can be as precious as they feel they need to be and I’m still eating it up. But I wonder if it really does come down to fear that nothing I could ever do would measure up to the things that I like.

Stepping away from music for a bit – when I was first creating audio productions, long before I worked in radio production, I was very particular about things being “just so”. I really crafted the things I created with a lot of care. When I started making commercials, I would do the same, and take tons of time just trying to get them perfect. Once I worked in radio production full time, I learned that I simply did not have enough time to spend hours on one 30-second commercial. I really had to speed it up to get things done. Then I became a production director all by myself, and had no time to be precious about it – I just had to get things done.

One might think I’d be able to carry over that “get it done” attitude to music, but the lack of hard deadlines in music has kept me from really feeling like I’ve ever accomplished anything. People flog the “art is never finished, only abandoned” cliche, but it is a real trap if you think you can keep working on something forever. That’s what I’ve been doing with a lot of my own music. Nothing feels good enough for me, and almost every time I’ve shared something, it’s mostly met with indifference, which reinforces the idea that I’m simply not doing anything interesting. Which is largely true, if I’m being brutally honest with myself. I have my retread pop punk-style songs, and my retread power pop songs and my retread sort of singer-songwritery songs. Nothing is all that “me”.

I grapple with the whole “me” thing as a writer. It reminds me of a time in high school. I was doing my normal thing of talking in every voice but my own (doing accents and characters and basically being a teenage Dana Carvey wannabe) and my best friend Brandon had grown tired of my antics, grabbed me, and said, “What do YOU sound like?” It’s funny how much that resonated. It went far beyond just doing a surfer dude voice followed by a fey German accent. It sticks in my head to this day, but it’s morphed into something even bigger. Perhaps even something menacing for me as a creator. What do I sound like? Honestly, I’ve been avoiding that for years, mostly because every time I create something, I really hate what I sound like when I’m not basically doing a style impression of some other artist I admire. Who am I kidding? I hate that, too, because it’s not original!

Which brings me to the whole point of this spiel: Artistry. How does one define it? I struggle with it all the time, because I feel like 25 years playing in cover bands has basically robbed me of any artistry of my own. I am a pretty complete musician, because I’ve played many different genres of music and can slide into most musical situations quite comfortably, but I never feel like an artist or feel like anything I do is truly artistic. I’ve gotten close to it from time to time, especially during improvisational performances at jam nights, and coming up with parts to complement the crazy ways we redo things in Chandler and The Bings, but with the music I’ve composed, I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten there, to a place where I’d consider it art. I’ve definitely tried.

Thanks for reading!
TMS

A Pause for Relocation

A Pause for Relocation

So my lovely girlfriend and I are moving into a house together soon, (cue the Bon Jovi song…) and I’m super excited so I’ll have a lot more space for music creation! WHEE! But until we get moved and settled, I won’t be doing much recording.

BUT, there is hope on the horizon for gigging, so I’m excited about that. More on that to come.

I hope everyone has a wonderful 2016. I appreciate your attention and your support, and this year should be a big one for me and music, so hopefully I’ll make some stuff that will make you happy.

Peace be the journey!
TMS

NEW SONG! Yep, it’s finally happened…

NEW SONG! Yep, it’s finally happened…

My long personal nightmare is over: I’m writing again! And this is a pretty dang cool feeling…

The first song I’m sharing is a song that is very close to my heart. I decided to try and dig deep and “feel all the feels” as some might say, and this new one is the result. This one makes me cry. It also doesn’t sound much like anything else I’ve ever recorded, so it might be kind of shocking (especially vocally). Go with me here and don’t carry any prejudices – this is 100% from my heart.

It’s called “Way Too Long Of A While”:

It comes on the heels of spending some time with my family that I love deeply and miss terribly because I live over 1000 miles away (or more). It’s actually a fairly simple concept, inspired by my internal conflict of feeling sad because I’m far away, but really loving the life I’ve got aside from the distance from “home” (which to me isn’t a place, but rather the five other members of my family – my mom, dad, and three younger brothers).

Thanks for listening, and watch this space for more!
TMS

Life Changes Through Life Changes

Life Changes Through Life Changes

So in my last post I talked about being divorced. I know that a lot of great art comes from pain, and I think that some of my best songs arrived via the “pain train”, but there’s also a lot of utter shit that comes from drawing inspiration in something so emotional. I can think back on at least a few songs that were overly sentimental or really heavy-handed dealing with tough emotions. I consider that a problem I have – wielding the pain as more of a sledgehammer rather than a gentle brush. I think the time and perspective that comes from being out of the bad part of the situation (while things are still falling apart) can really work toward expressing something interesting if you’re brave enough to revisit it after the fact with a little perspective.

Of course, I’m nowhere near that phase yet – this is all pretty new and raw. I’m just exploring the concept of making adult friends who might turn into more special friends. Putting myself out there and actually dating for the first time in my life, really…because every relationship I’ve had has been one of convenience – we were in close proximity, we liked each other, things happened…boom – relationship. I’m trying to break this pattern and figure out who the heck I am, because honestly, I have no idea. Removed from being “Heather’s husband”, I’m not really sure who I am. I know that my physical changes (lost 20 lbs, grew about 20 lbs of hair) have garnered a higher level of female attention than I expected, but I’m honestly still in mourning of my life as I lived it for thirteen-plus years.

It’s been a running theme on this blog about me never actually getting my solo acoustic act off the ground, and one thing that has come from the therapy and other things I’ve been through the past few years is the discovery/acceptance that I have serious self-worth issues, mostly because I don’t ever give myself the credit I deserve. Not as a person, producer, performer, musician, or songwriter. Not even as a father sometimes (that one’s improved a lot, even with my departure from the home…I know I’m a good dad, and I do my best to be there for them as much as I can under the circumstances.) I think perhaps the reason the acoustic thing has never happened isn’t just laziness, it’s also a subconscious self-hate campaign my psyche has been playing on me for years – that I shouldn’t book it because why would I subject people to my singing and playing? What makes me think I can entertain people with just my voice and guitar.

Well, I’ve finally accepted that it’s a shitty way to live, bowing down to some imaginary judgment that hasn’t even happened. The fact is, when I’m emotionally clear and healthy, I know I’m a better singer/guitarist/entertainer than most people who do the solo acoustic thing out there. Sadly, I’m just not usually emotionally clear or healthy. As that improves, so will my confidence. But so far that hasn’t really happened, so I’ve decided it’s time to fake it until I make it.

The first faux-confidence display will happen this coming Wednesday, February 12th, when I join my friends Paul and Greg for a gig with our little ragtag trio, “Audio Time Machine” (ATM). I think it’s going to be a really fun show, and I know that I have a bunch of people who have said they are coming to hang out, which is awesome. Friendly audiences are always confidence-boosters. And right now, my sad little brain needs all the help it can get.

But back to the songwriting. It’s weird – it’s been so long since I really wrote a SONG that I’ve almost forgotten how to do it. I’ve been collecting a lot of riffs and musical ideas over the past few years, but nothing seems to every really coalesce into something complete. It’s scatterbrained and seems relatively indicative of how I’ve lived my musical life for the past few years – just taking things as they come with no set plan or organization. This sort of informality can be good to reduce stress levels, but all it does is render everything you do as sort of half-assed. I think that’s why no clear SONGS have come together. And I’m sure that’s part of the reason that in my performing musician life there haven’t been any Roman Holiday gigs since last June. Audio Time Machine is very informal so that takes basically no effort, but we go for long stretches without playing shows. And my sad little brain needs to be playing shows. It’s a really important part of my happiness as a human walking the planet.

So it’s time for me to organize this part of my life a little bit and really make it happen. Get my new solo website together (brianvsings.com) instead of just having it point here (which it does for now). Get my songlist together and start really tightening up my performances of the songs – make them full of feeling, personal, relatable, and very memorable for the audiences. Maybe have some stones and see if I can launch my little act by performing for my day job co-workers in our facility’s live music lounge for happy hour or something. There’s a bunch of built-in fans who like to get drunk after work! (Heck, they like to get drunk AT work sometimes…)

So hold me to it, people. If you see that I haven’t made major moves on this stuff in the next few months, give me crap about it. I deserve it!

Thanks for reading and peace be the journey!
TMS

Holy poo…it’s been a while!

Holy poo…it’s been a while!

Sorry it’s been so long since the last post…there have been a lot of non-musical things going on (and the previously-mentioned Roman Holiday stuff. Gigs for the most part have been good… They updated the software on the POD HD500 finally and I’ve been using that at the last few shows, which is cool. They finally included a bass amp model, so I can get a really great bass tone out of it. I’ve been using the headset mic extensively, and it’s been good. I actually don’t mind looking like a dweeb to my “cool” friends because the freedom is completely worth it. I did write most of a song the other day, and I’ve come up with some great ideas that I think will become songs, so that is nice as well. Once the partial song is completed in decent demo format I will post it here. I’m pretty excited I wrote something. Well, off to get ready for tonight’s show…and to perhaps feed my children… Hopefully my next update won’t take almost three months.
TMS