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Museday Mumblings (Vol. 78): Life Living You

Museday Mumblings (Vol. 78): Life Living You

I think I’ve addressed this before here on the blog, but I think sometimes you live life, and sometimes life lives you.

You feel like you have choices when you’re living life.

You feel like you’re just following a to-do list if life is living you.

Right now, it really does feel like life is living me instead of the other way around.

To be clear – some of the most fantastic things have been happening the past few months, from my 50th Birthday with surprise visits from my parents and a cousin I hadn’t seen in years to a couple of wonderful trips to North Carolina and Atlanta to see friends and band reunions. And reuniting with my best friend from high school who I hadn’t seen in over 20 years and finally meeting his wife and wonderful boys. SO MUCH LOVE!

But even as it’s been great, everything’s been SCHEDULED. My wife and I haven’t really had good alone time because we have a little kid and no good sitters. Work has been relentless for both of us, and SUPER STRESSFUL for my wife. Gigs have been very sporadic (which serve as a nice salve for my psyche, so that’s not good).

Some days I feel like I’m just driving people places and then sitting in a room for hours on a computer cutting up voiceovers I’m not particularly pleased with and mixing with music that’s ALMOST right for the commercials while periodically being interrupted by questions that have often already been answered.

I’m sure a lot of people go through this stuff, and honestly, I’m usually fairly good at forcing myself to be present and not just muddle through. But right now? It’s not going great. So I’m writing this at 1:41am to kind of put it out there so I can move on from it and take more action in my life.

Recently for the day job I had to create a jingle out of some really questionable a cappella singing, so I threw that pitchy mess into Melodyne (a wonderful software for naturally removing pitchiness), and wrote and recorded music to match the flow of the melody (which was a VERY atypical arrangement). Shockingly, it turned out fairly decent. I had polished the turd to a fine sheen (and they ended up going with the original a cappella…go figure).

The good part about that was discovering how quickly I can throw together music that is a full arrangement (the cleaned-up voice, along with guitar, bass, and drums I played on my Korg X50 keyboard). It really inspired me to possibly use those same techniques to get my songs done and start using my DistroKid account to make them available for people to listen and/or buy on all the streaming services.

So I know I’ve said it before, but I really do think that I’ll actually be finishing some songs in the coming months, and probably releasing them in chunks as EPs on Spotify and stuff like that.

That is, if I can manage to stop letting life live me and turn that shit around so I’m living life.

Wish me luck!

And if you also feel like life has been living you, I feel you. And I’m hoping for your sake you can turn that shit around as well.

Take care, and Peace be the journey!
TMS

Ah, Maaaan…

Ah, Maaaan…

Well, my monthly solo gig is gone now. “First Saturdays with Brian V. at 360 Uno” is no more.

360 Uno is shutting their doors for good in late August and my gig this Saturday was cancelled.

It’s a weird thing – there were things that were kind of terrible about those gigs – I never felt prepared enough, the crowds were largely indifferent about my presence (because it was a restaurant situation with sort of old people and families, not a “bar” bar), the setup by the front door was kind of awkward, etc. The staff and how I was treated as a performer there more than made up for it. I got to play all kinds of different songs, take chances, and scratch other musical itches not scratched by Chandler and The Bings. I played my own music almost every show. I played a PILE of Sloan songs for Canada Day on what is now officially my last performance there.

My lovely and talented friend Mandy Prater got me in there, and it was a great situation for me. I just need to find a new place for it – try to set up a monthly gig somewhere. This time, perhaps, a lot closer, and at a BAR bar, so patrons will be more engaged and I’ll play better – I feed off the crowd more than I ever thought I did. That’s a lesson I learned.

Another lesson these gigs taught me is that I am a pretty ham-handed guitar player. Made me really want to get my technique together to execute melodic stuff a little better than just bashing out rhythms all the time.

Thanks to all my friends (and family) who came out and had some pizza or wine or gelato or whatever and enjoyed a show. I loved that you were there more than you can ever imagine. And BIG BIG thanks to Jamie and all the staff there for being so delightful to work with and always making me feel welcome. Good luck to all of you in the future. You deserve all the best.

If you have any ideas of where I can play in the 78748 area, I’m down…

Thanks for reading, and peace be the journey…
TMS

Museday Mumblings (Vol. 76) – A Case of The Musedays

Museday Mumblings (Vol. 76) – A Case of The Musedays

Well, it’s a Museday. The last time I posted was in late September. Clearly life is having its way with me right now, as I’m not particularly inspired to even blather on here on the blog.

This series was meant to be almost a meditation – every Tuesday (or so) I’d post about some topic, whether it be musical or otherwise (but mostly musical), and it would keep me creating and creative. But a few things happened over the last year or so that really messed with my desire to share much of what’s going on with me publicly. People who are too sensitive. Beloved friends slightly younger than me who died suddenly. The tennis match-like back-and-forth of worthiness and worthlessness that is being a sensitive artist.

I desperately want to WANT to create. I desperately want to FEEL like people I depend on for music-related things are all on the same page. But time creates distance, distance increases anxiety, anxiety breeds worry, worry breeds resentment. I’m not saying anything is REAL about how I feel about the various things I’m doing or my relationships with music stuff, but it’s definitely making me feel less motivated in general, and kind of depressing me (and thus keeping me from working on stuff).

But let’s take stock. Let’s have ourselves one of them certified, Erin-phrase-coined “Gratitude Adjustments”:

In 2022, I played a PILE of wonderful shows with my boys in Chandler and The Bings. And I played my roles as bassist and singer well in the vast majority of them, which makes me very proud. We had a great bonding experience with our trip to Laredo that was only sullied by a bad stomach bug which led to the very first time I’ve ever left the stage to vomit…and then vomited off the side of the stage out of the view of the crowd. It’s quite a story that’s quite gross, and if you’d like to hear it, I’m happy to tell it in person.

My solo shows were mostly pretty good, and I was VERY consistent this year, basically playing every first Saturday except for July. I love the venue, the staff is wonderful, people tip very well, and I really need to grow this side of my musicianship. I think it would be good for my development to have some bigger crowds to play to, though. So I’m going to work towards that in 2023, stacking up the wonderful venue I already play and maybe even finding some more…

I got some very cool new gear and some of my existing gear got an AMAZING update that inspires me to play more, which is good. I keep meaning to make videos about the guitar and little amp, but that’s another casualty of life in general. Just hasn’t happened yet.

My body has held up pretty well considering I packed on an extra 15 lbs this year. Going to do my best to get that off in triplicate this year, hopefully by my birthday in September. That might be too tall an order, but progress toward healthy living is most important. My health is paramount and I need to stick around for my kiddos.

To close this out:

I am thankful that I can still do this music stuff.

I am grateful that my health so far has remained pretty good (gotta figure out the heart flutter, but…)

I am hopeful that I can stay disciplined and make the necessary changes to lead a more healthy lifestyle.

Now that this is turning into a “Goals” post – completely unrelated to the fact that it’s a new year, mind you – my goals are now to get healthy, get better at playing the songs I perform, get working on my ear training and theory knowledge, get the worthy songs I’ve written recorded, mix the old ones that were already recorded better (and improve the performances if necessary), get some new songs together, release some new music (having one song on the streaming platforms seems kind of sad), get my goddamn ass in gear in general, and get some MONEY.

That’d be nice, right? Rent is EXPENSIVE. Shit, everything is.

Anyway, thanks for reading and I plan to get back in this Museday Mumblings habit again. Have a happy day whenever you see this, and may you stay healthy and safe.

Peace be the journey!
TMS

2021 In Review…And A Look To 2022

2021 In Review…And A Look To 2022

The first quarter of the year was pretty lame. Not a whole lot going on that was new.

Started back with gigs in May. (YAY!)

Joined an awesome Yacht Rock band but punked out because I had to accept reality the playing level expected didn’t fit with my current lifestyle. It still makes me sad when I think about it.

Blogged many, many times but got super inconsistent at the end of the year (depression does that to you).

Made many great improvements to my home studio building on all the great improvements from 2020. Hey, I figure if I live in this room for work, it might as well be decked out, right? Upgraded the live bass rig from a little HX Stomp to the HX Stomp XL, which has more footswitches. Very happy with the change.

Went to California for a family vacation. It was more of a trip than a vacation, because it was the opposite of relaxing, but it was wonderful to be back “home” and see some California family and friends. The Golden State is as much a part of me as anywhere else I’ve ever lived, and I still miss it. If I win a large sum in the lottery, I will buy property there.

Discovered great new music – Mammoth WVH’s debut album is EXCELLENT, as was their live show. I Don’t Know How But They Found Me (aka IDKHOW) somehow escaped me when they were the alternative music press’ retro darling a few years back, but now I know who they are (thanks to my bud Dennis) and dig the SHIT out of their stuff. They’re 80s in all the best ways, but current – if you like the idea of Duran Duran and The Cure having a baby, you’ll probably dig this.

Wrote ZERO songs. Didn’t even compose riffs or anything this year. Not sure why…just not all that inspired. I did do some livestream noodling.

Returned to the stage as a solo act thanks to my friend (and excellent livestreamer) Mandy Prater recommending me to the awesome people at 360 Uno.

And I think that’s about it.

Definitely going to get things set up in the studio in 2022 for easier musical creativity and make it a point to make stuff. I might even make videos of the process since I have that awesome-but-basically-unused live streaming mixer. And Bathroom Schizo videos!

Or not. Since I like to believe I’ll do creative things but I rarely come through because life and my mental state often get in the way. STAY TUNED!

One thing that’s definitely happening in 2022 is a return of the weekly format for the Museday Mumblings. I slacked hard in Q4 and I find that embarrassing.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful 2022!
TMS

March Home, Young Man…

March Home, Young Man…

Well, things in our world are officially weird.

I mean, we have a major novel virus spreading quickly around the world, and are trying desperately to slow that spread so that the people who are infected get the care that keeps them alive. As I’m sure you know, dear reader, that means that live music is OVER right now. My full-time musician buddies are shitting themselves about when they’ll have another gig so they can pay their rent, and I hope that they implement a temporary assistance program for them. They deserve to be paid to stay home, just like all the people in the service industry (bars and restaurants), movies, and a lot of retail. Fortunately for me, I’m a coward who has never had the nerve to just do music, so my day job is basically the same, and the only change for me work-wise is a positive one, because I prefer working in my home studio to being at the office. Not playing is CRAP, but I will do what I can to help the vulnerable by staying out of circulation.

If there was ever a time for me to hunker down and really get some shit recorded and done it’s now. I’ll have no real band distractions, except for some awesome live-streaming stuff we’re planning. It’s going to be just me sitting in my studio with all my guitars and keyboards. The unfortunate thing? I’m completely stuck because I really don’t have material. I haven’t written a new song in over four years. FOUR. At my last residence, I did not write a single new song. That is mind-blowing to me. I’ve always fancied myself a songwriter, but almost half a decade of not writing makes it clear that’s not really something I am anymore. That’s okay, but I’d really like to change that.

My plan for the next month or two (assuming this shit’s going to be around a while) is to write at least one complete song. I think I’ll document the process over on social media (I’m musicalschizo pretty much everywhere – YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, MySpace…)

Keep an eye out for that and an eye out for new fun Chandler and The Bings content, because there’s no way the four of us can stand more than a few weeks of not being goofy together and playing some music. We’re going to figure out the technology of a streaming jam. I’m sure there’s some Google thing or Twitch or whatever that should be able to make that happen.

Take care, wash your hands, stay home if you can, do what you can for your friends who are financially hurting because of this stuff, and please stay healthy!

Peace be the non-journey…

TMS

You Can’t Always Get What You Want…

You Can’t Always Get What You Want…

I have a serious issue now. I desperately want a $2100 bass. You see, Ernie Ball/Music Man came out with their new Stingray Special series, with roasted maple necks that have stainless steel frets and updated bodies that are lighter, and updated electronics that are punchier and quieter. Of course, it’s not happening. I don’t have that kind of cash.

Cut to a few weeks ago, where I was doing my normal Craigslist perusal, and I came across a guy up in Cedar Park selling my $2100 bass for a mere $1295! I literally did not have the funds to scrape together to get this incredibly-cheap offering of EXACTLY THE BASS I WANT – Black. Maple fingerboard. One pickup. Just like the Sterling Sub series that I’m playing now as my #1 bass, but lighter and more pro in every single way.

So I’ve been anguished about it for a couple of weeks now. And the ad has finally timed out on Craiglist, so no more drooling over that which I can not possess. I did send the guy an email basically begging him to keep in touch if he still happened to have the bass next month (since I plan on scraping together money and selling things). I’ve heard nothing back. I’m sad.

So what does this tell me? Well, I snoozed and most likely lost. And I simply cannot justify spending almost $1300 on a bass, even if it is the $2100 bass I so desperately wish to own.

But if on the odd chance I do hear back from Allen from Cedar Park…well, I guess we’ll see how my willpower handles it.

I don’t NEED this bass…but damn if it wouldn’t be a hoot to have it!

In other news: Things with The Bings are going as wonderfully as before, better, actually, because my voice has been solid. We’ve been killing our Thursday shows at Stereotype, with people showing up basically just to see us and then clearing out once we’re done (except on the Saturday gig – they hung out – we wish they’d hang out on the Thursdays, too, but it’s nice that they’re there for us specifically). Not sure what the future holds with that. 2019 might be something different there. We’ll have to see. I do look forward to seeing some of my “buddy bands” there, though (like HighRoad, Zoodust, and especially Hit & Run). They’re all being booked when we can’t make the shows.

I’ve been cleaning things up in my studio and getting things all wired up for proper use in preparation for work beginning in earnest on some recordings. I know if you look at the 10 years or so I’ve been writing this blog that that seems like more of the same promised bullshit, but this time I really have all the pieces together and am feeling some creativity, so it might not be any of the songs I’ve already written – it might be writing new ones from all the progressions, melodies, and riffs I’ve been recording on my iPhone for the past six or seven years. I’ve got good software and plugins and I’m raring to go. Now it’s just finding the moments of quiet necessary for getting things down. I think I can manage it. 🙂

I’m probably heading out to a jam night tomorrow to see some friends and maybe rock out a few tunes I haven’t played in a while. I might even see if they’ll let me play drums on something. I haven’t done that in front of an audience since a Slaphappy gig in Georgia about 15 years ago.

On the “gear I actually own” front, the HX Stomp has been PERFECTION for my gigs with The Bings. And I got a new set of quad-driver in-ears for cheap on Amazon that have been perfection as well. It’s crazy – I haven’t even been running a speaker or amp. Just BIG FAT TONE from a teeny tiny pedal.

Thanks for reading my update, and have a wonderful Christmas and New Year – if that’s your thing.

Peace, love, and good happiness stuff…

TMS

Thoughts on “Artistry”

Thoughts on “Artistry”

(note – Just some thoughts. I wrote this piece back in March, but am finally publishing it now. Not sure why I never hit publish.)

As someone who has spent the majority of his musical life as background music for people getting drunk, it’s hard for me to relate to what it must be like to actually create music as art. Sure, I’ve written my fair share of songs, and I have pretty strong opinions on what I like and don’t like about things I and others have created, but I’ve never seen myself as an artist, or my work as artistry.

I wonder sometimes if that’s just me avoiding actually putting myself out there for judgment or if it’s putting art on a pedestal, or a mix of both. I definitely am proud of some of the stuff I’ve created, and I’m definitely proud of some of the ways I’ve put my stamp on other people’s work through my experience in cover bands of various types.

I’m inherently not a precious person when it comes to creating musical things, which is to my detriment, I think. I do believe I’d have something to offer as an artist. I just carry this inbuilt suspicion and animosity toward the very act of being precious, with the notable exception that I’m all in if it’s an artist I love – they can be as precious as they feel they need to be and I’m still eating it up. But I wonder if it really does come down to fear that nothing I could ever do would measure up to the things that I like.

Stepping away from music for a bit – when I was first creating audio productions, long before I worked in radio production, I was very particular about things being “just so”. I really crafted the things I created with a lot of care. When I started making commercials, I would do the same, and take tons of time just trying to get them perfect. Once I worked in radio production full time, I learned that I simply did not have enough time to spend hours on one 30-second commercial. I really had to speed it up to get things done. Then I became a production director all by myself, and had no time to be precious about it – I just had to get things done.

One might think I’d be able to carry over that “get it done” attitude to music, but the lack of hard deadlines in music has kept me from really feeling like I’ve ever accomplished anything. People flog the “art is never finished, only abandoned” cliche, but it is a real trap if you think you can keep working on something forever. That’s what I’ve been doing with a lot of my own music. Nothing feels good enough for me, and almost every time I’ve shared something, it’s mostly met with indifference, which reinforces the idea that I’m simply not doing anything interesting. Which is largely true, if I’m being brutally honest with myself. I have my retread pop punk-style songs, and my retread power pop songs and my retread sort of singer-songwritery songs. Nothing is all that “me”.

I grapple with the whole “me” thing as a writer. It reminds me of a time in high school. I was doing my normal thing of talking in every voice but my own (doing accents and characters and basically being a teenage Dana Carvey wannabe) and my best friend Brandon had grown tired of my antics, grabbed me, and said, “What do YOU sound like?” It’s funny how much that resonated. It went far beyond just doing a surfer dude voice followed by a fey German accent. It sticks in my head to this day, but it’s morphed into something even bigger. Perhaps even something menacing for me as a creator. What do I sound like? Honestly, I’ve been avoiding that for years, mostly because every time I create something, I really hate what I sound like when I’m not basically doing a style impression of some other artist I admire. Who am I kidding? I hate that, too, because it’s not original!

Which brings me to the whole point of this spiel: Artistry. How does one define it? I struggle with it all the time, because I feel like 25 years playing in cover bands has basically robbed me of any artistry of my own. I am a pretty complete musician, because I’ve played many different genres of music and can slide into most musical situations quite comfortably, but I never feel like an artist or feel like anything I do is truly artistic. I’ve gotten close to it from time to time, especially during improvisational performances at jam nights, and coming up with parts to complement the crazy ways we redo things in Chandler and The Bings, but with the music I’ve composed, I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten there, to a place where I’d consider it art. I’ve definitely tried.

Thanks for reading!
TMS

The Dangerfields, Solo shows, keyboard, fitness, etc.

The Dangerfields, Solo shows, keyboard, fitness, etc.

Updates:

The Dangerfields are still in progress, and we’ve played one more show since my last post. Okay, that’s not really accurate, because it’s not The Dangerfields, really if Lee isn’t playing drums. But it was a nice try, although an overally unpleasant experience for a variety of reasons. (Kudos to Ernie for filling in and doing a good job) We’ve had a couple of rehearsals since then and the last one was very inspiring – we’re starting to sound like a BAND – which is really good. Finding time to schedule shows around our lives and Lee’s other band is the next trick, but we’ll get to that. So life is good in the world of no respect. 🙂

I booked a few more solo shows at Scoreboard, and I’m very excited to be back there. I’m going to try and make my PA and light rig even more simple for easier setup-teardown, which is a delightful challenge.

I bought a Korg X50 synth at a pawn shop, and it’s already inspiring me with its sounds. I’m excited to become a better keyboardist, and I might even learn some songs on it for the solo gigs. Wouldn’t that be weird?

Finally, I’m back at the gym on a regular basis. Time to get in shape and stay in shape. It’s already making my joints feel better, and once I’ve worked out a way to eat better with my weird sensory food issues on top of the regular gym activity, I’ll get lighter and will be able to start exercising a little harder.

I have been inspired to improve my overall musicianship, but I also really want to tap into whatever emotions are flowing through me now. I’m very happy with my life in general – my work is pleasant, my home situation is awesome, and I feel very loved. And that sort of peace usually keeps me from being all that expressive with music – I just don’t write all that much. I have had some serious moments of worry and pain, though, with family far away, first from Hurricane Matthew (everyone is okay, but it was scary), and then through a friend’s loss this past weekend.

One of my best friends in the world, both musically and non-musically, just lost his brother. I can’t really imagine the emotions he’s feeling, but it’s made me very, very sad, because his brother was always such an encouraging spirit, supporting our musical endeavors and really just showing us “the love”. If I ever had to do a crying scene in a movie, I’d think about losing one of my brothers – the very idea is that level of pain for me, and I wish there was something I could do to help my friend through this horrible time.

I wish there was a way to express it as well as I think Neil Peart and Rush did on this song:

The world will miss you, Darin.

Peace be the journey, all!
TMS

A Pause for Relocation

A Pause for Relocation

So my lovely girlfriend and I are moving into a house together soon, (cue the Bon Jovi song…) and I’m super excited so I’ll have a lot more space for music creation! WHEE! But until we get moved and settled, I won’t be doing much recording.

BUT, there is hope on the horizon for gigging, so I’m excited about that. More on that to come.

I hope everyone has a wonderful 2016. I appreciate your attention and your support, and this year should be a big one for me and music, so hopefully I’ll make some stuff that will make you happy.

Peace be the journey!
TMS

So the progress continues…

So the progress continues…

Last night I was able to work up most of my song called “Miserable Bastard” into a full-band arrangement. The bass parts and vocals are just scratch versions at this point and everything needs more work (I want to compose a better bass part that has some more “movement”), but I’m satisfied with how things are progressing.

There’s another song I just wrote (a couple of days after “Way Too Long Of A While”) that I’m still working on, and that one might be next to be recorded…but there are others I still want to finish or rework, so who knows.

I’m just happy I’m getting things together for once. Now I have to get some acoustic gigs and get a new power trio together with Lee (Roman Holiday bandmate/drummer). I miss fronting an actual band.

Thanks for keeping up and HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you all have a prosperous and wonderful 2016.
TMS